On April 14th, my beautiful David turned 4 years old. It was his first birthday home with us. On his 3rd birthday we were getting ready to go pick him up in May 2010.
I started the morning of David's birthday by laying in my bed and thinking of his birth mommy. I know that she is thinking of him around this time of year... wondering where he is, if he is okay or happy or if someone was able to help him. I know that her heart is grieving and missing him. I know she probably thinks and rethinks her decision, or grieves because the decision was forced by circumstance. So now it is also I that grieve for her.
I watch this precious child grow and learn. I have the privilege of kissing and hugging him goodnight. I am the blessed one that gets to hear him call me mommy. Don't get me wrong I am truly thankful for all of that, but I hurt for her. She carried him in her belly for 9 months. She was delighted to give birth to a son (the gender so desired in Ch*na). Then, to her grief (I am sure) she saw that he had cleft lip/palate. This amazing, strong, beautiful woman raised her son for a whole year. I cannot imaging the pain as she could not find a way to help him and as he got weaker because he could not feed. Oh how I wish I could let her know that he is beautiful, wonderful and thriving. That her sacrifice and pain has allowed him this. How I wish I could hug her and hold her as she cries and grieves.
All these feelings and thoughts bring me to this...that I (we) as adoptive mommies have the responsibility to honor her. We must remember her and pray for her and share her love and sacrifice with our children. OUR child...her's and mine...there would be no him without her and I will remember and honor that.
I am so thankful for David. He is gorgeous, happy, stubborn, and mischievous. He is a blessing from God. He is a reflection of his birth mommy...so as I love him, I love her.
You are a precious son, loved for who you are and what you are becoming. Daddy and I could not be prouder of you. We have spent this last year in wonder as you have infiltrated our hearts. You have learned to be a son, a brother, a grandson, a cousin, a playmate and a stinker. Your smile can brighten any day and your laugh is infectious. You have opened up and started to become social. You try your hardest to talk, and even continue to talk when we don't understand, but I love that. All of this shows us your tenacity for life. I think my favorite is when you sing. You love to make noise and in the car you sing to yourself. I have no idea what you are singing and you may not either, but continue my precious boy.
You are dearly loved by many and have been since your conception. I am looking forward to another amazing year as you head towards 5. Happy Birthday love.
|First try on blowing the candles. David still has two holes in the roof of his mouth, so it is hard to get the air to flow properly. However, he is doing a great job, you can see one of the flames bending...that is progress.|
|After a few tries of mommy plugging his nose so he could blow, I helped him so he wouldn't get frustrated. I am not sure he knew I was helping him because he seemed pretty excited that they were out.|
|Happy Birthday Baby!|