Life Lessons on...Death

A little over a year ago... well a year and a half ago, my beloved Po Po (grandfather) died.  Sam made the trip back to the States with me.  Sam spent the last week of Po's life drawing him pictures and giving him toy cars, and holding his hand just to comfort him.  I was so proud of my little guy.  He was a little scared at first but pushed past it to be helpful and loving.  Now, I did not allow Sam to see Po the last day he was alive (which Sam didn't realize until very late at night).  I didn't want Sam to see my grandfather so stretched and really not there anymore.  I still think that I made the right decision on that one.

Since that time, Sam has talk about loving Po and all that he did.  We even have a book that we put together of all Sam did for Po (my wonderful Aunt's idea).  It was a very good catalyst to speak about death and dying.  Sam also knew that Po was not afraid of death, but was ready to go home to be with Jesus.  To see death in such a light was a really good thing for Sam.  He begun to learn that death was not to be feared if you know our loving Savior.

Sometime in the not so far future we will be facing the death of Andreas' grandparents.  No, that is not happening right now, but we can perceive it on the horizon.  We went to the hospital to visit with Mormor the other day.  David was definitely scared, but Sam, even though initially startled by the tubes and things, pushed past it to hold her hand, talk with her, and love on her.  Again, I was so proud of his caring and gentle heart.  As we left Mormor I could see the wheels turning in Sam's head.  I didn't push, I knew it would come in due time.  The next morning I was driving Sam to gymnastics and this is the discussion we had:

S: ''Mommy, will you die someday?''

M: ''Yes, someday I will.''

S: ''Mommy, will I be old when you die?''

M: ''I hope you will be old when I die, but none of us know when we will die, so maybe you will be old when I die.''

S: ''Mommy, I took care of Po Po when he was dying.''

M: ''Yes, you did a wonderful job and Po Po really appreciated it.  Mommy was very proud of how gentle and loving you were.''

S: ''Po Po was ready to go home to Jesus!''

M: ''Yes love, he was, but I miss him a lot.''

S: ''Mommy, Mormor is ready to go to heaven.'' (needing a reassurance that Mormor wasn't scared)

M: ''Yes baby, she is.  Mommy, Daddy and the rest of the family will be very sad and cry, but it is good for her to go to heaven and be with Jesus.''

S: ''Mommy, I hope I am old when you die like Farmor (farmor is mormor's daughter, Andreas' mom)

M: ''Me too baby, but no matter when I die, I will go and be with Jesus and then you can meet me there when it is time for you to go to heaven.''

S: ''Okay mommy, I'll do that.''

Written down it doesn't sound as significant as the conversation really was.  His intonations and inflections.  I could almost ''hear'' the gears in his little head moving.

Then two days later I talk to him about praying for a college friend who was dying of leukemia.  This friend was my age and had 4 children.  She died Monday night (please pray for her family).  I felt like it was a good thing to talk to him about because of what we had been talking about.  Again, I could see the gears moving in his head.  He asked me why I was crying when I talked to him about it.  I said because I was sad for her children and her husband.  I wish I could remember exactly what he said, but in his own sweet way he reassured me that it was okay....she was with Jesus.

I know this discussion isn't over with him and I honestly look forward to more of it with him.  I am humbled by his sweet innocence and perfect trust in Christ.  I love the fact that he has seen and is seeing his great grandparents welcome death, so that they move into eternal life.  Great grandparents that show him a faith that makes dying something to move gracefully into without fear.  Great grandparents that show him the reality of heaven and being with Jesus.

As Sam learns these lessons....I think his mommy learns them also.

Laurie