Progress

There are moments and days that I wonder if we are moving forward and progressing with David.  Then there are days that I absolutely know we are.  However, as I am judging how well or not well I am doing I have to remember that it has been less than a month that he has been with us.  This Thursday will be a month and it will also be my 14th anniversary.

I am truly amazed at how children adapt and learn.  I know it is not always easy, but I have seen a lot of adopted children and they always amaze me (even those who have a harder time with the adjustment).  To think that less than a month ago this precious little guy walked into a room in Urumqi with no idea that he would be wisked away to Sweden, have to adjust to yet another placement in his life and learn two new languages when he has enough problems trying to speak Mandarin.  Yet, he is blooming.  David changes a little everyday.   We learn new things about his personality and his audacity, his sense of humor and his stubborness.  Yet there is one area that he cannot express yet, but I know it is there.  That is his saddness and insecurity.  He must wonder what has happened to his foster mom and his foster siblings.  He must wonder why he went from a place where all the people look like him to lots of blonde people (he watches any Asian person he sees with great intensity).

I know I will have to wait for some of this sadness to come out, but I hear it in his cry at night.  He kind of wakes up and cries.  He has only actually cried for mamma once.  All the other times it is just a cry.  It is really sad for me to hear and breaks my heart that he has gone through so much in his short life.  I lay down beside him and caress his face or arm and tell him mamma is there.  He eventually calms and falls into a deep sleep again.  I wonder when that will disappear.  I wonder what it exactly is.  I wonder if he did it in China also.  So for now I just comfort and pray over this precious child that we are falling deeper and deeper in love with.

I remind myself that there is a Healer and He has placed David here with us.  How humbled I am yet again to be a mother by the grace of God.  How humbled I am to lead both of my precious boys to the cross and pray with all I have that they take hold of it and live for Jesus.  I may not know what happened to David or Sam before we were blessed with them, but Christ does, and he wants to redeem it all.

So we will continue to live and learn as a family and as children of God.  I will continue to enjoy the bedtime routine with David as he jumps on top of me and kisses me with all his might (the kissing thing is new to him).  I will continue to enjoy hearing and seeing my boys learn to play and laugh together.  I will continue to watch in wonder as Andreas fathers our children in such a Christ-like way and David learns the wonders of having and incredible daddy.  I will continue to be amazed as both Samuel and David become the men that God wants them to be.  And I will always be thankful for the gift of being a mother.

Blessings,
Laurie

This was taken at the Heavenly Lake outside of Urumqi.  It was the first time that David and Sam really connected and eventually even held hands together.  It was quite precious.