On May 16th we past a milestone... a year ago David walked into a little room in Ch*na and his whole life changed drastically (much to his chagrin). It amazes me to see the difference in him. He walked into that room as a stranger and is now such an integral part of this family.
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some of the first moments with us |
David's adoption was so drastically different from Samuels'. There was the obvious...different country, different special needs, different ages. However, there was also the hidden...the long wait that took it's toll on me, the necessity to switch countries, the heartache that I still carry of Nep^l closing adoptions (or all other countries closing to Nep^l) because of corruption, the moment of actually saying no to a Ta*wan ''unofficial'' referral after a month of prayer and seeking the Lord and professional advise, the distance I felt to the whole process because it was in Swedish and I could not be as involved because I simply didn't understand all the little details. All of these factors brought so many more emotions, decisions, heartache, prayers and details with them. The euphoria of the first adoption had disappeared into a new reality. And I struggled with that reality. I think at points I even struggled to believe that my second child would become a reality.
This all forced me to review my belief and how much I was lacking in it. How I failed time and time again to understand the road that God took us down to bring us to David. It took me two sentence to say that but many months, even years to experience it.
Then there was the referral. A small picture with details that we tried to decipher. I didn't feel the connection to the picture that I did with Sam's. I understand now that it was the difference of seeing a baby picture to seeing an older child picture and the emotions and the actual physical hormones that those create, but that didn't help then. Don't misunderstand...we asked for a child 3 or above, we understood (as much as you can before you experience) what that would entail. My love for David was something that I needed to grow into. I knew with my brain that I loved him...but I still had to go through the process of getting to know him. This brought me guilt for quite some time even though we bonded quite quickly, which surprised me for a toddler that had been passed around.
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the first evening walk (blurry, but forever etched in my mind) |
One of the nice things about being a year out from the adoption is the fact that I know how this year ends. It ends with an amazing, incredibly loved, well adjusted, beloved child. I will be the first to admit it hasn't been easy. David needed to bond with us and yet explore his world as a three year old who was suppose to be learning some independence. He needed to deal with the strong emotions that came with leaving the culture he knew and being wisked away by people who look and sound strange. He needed to learn the meaning of permanency, he needed, he needed.....
Most of all he needed a family. People that would try their best to understand, love, play, nourish (body and soul) and be there for life. I was not always the best with my patience, I am sure I made plenty of mistakes (and will continue to do so), but thank you Jesus by your grace he is doing so well.
Now above is the boy that I get the privilege of parenting day in and day out. He is quick to laugh and to whine. He is full of energy and loves to explore. David will go outside for a walk, a run, a scooter ride or just to goof of in a heartbeat. He loves to be out of doors. He is incredibly stubborn, but quick to learn. He has embraced life and his family. He amazes me, he cuddles me, and he calls my name a million times a day. He loves books and kisses and food (lots of it). He loves to mimic, play with and wrestle with his older brother and daddy. He can now pucker, finish a whole juice box through a straw, blow out candles and say the letters p, k, and m (this is not always easy for cleft lip/palate children).
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he wasn't too hip on that roasted marshmallow |
David has a great sense of humor and will be my prankster someday. He will also be my sneaky child. David has a laugh and a smile that can light up a room and make others laugh right along with him.
David,
You are a beloved son to us. We went through so much to get to you and are so thankful that we did. I can't wait to see how you grow and weave more and more into our family. You are precious to us and to Jesus whose hand you can see all through your story.
We love you,
Mommy and Daddy.