Countdown and Mother's Day

Okay, first to say....3 days to take off.  Yep, you read that right.  We have 3 more days until we embark on the final leg of the "official" adoption.  Which brings me to Mother's day.  All who have adopted and who are adopting alway look forward to the end of the paper chase and the waiting until that child is finally in your arms.

That is what I refer to as the "official" adoption.  Yet there is so much more to the story once your child is home. That is what fills my heart at this moment as Olof Robert Samuel's and Olof Xiao David's mom.  There are times that I am reminded that Sam is adopted by someone asking me where he was born.  But most of the time he is just Sam.  Whether he is annoying the snot out of me or being so sweet I could melt, he is my Sam.  Bonding happened so many years ago and now I love to see how he is working out his world.  Still our bond is being stretched and strengthened everyday.  When he is trying so hard to break away and be more independent and mom just wants to hold her son the bond is stretched.  When he gets hurt and I hold him for just a minute the bond is strengthened. This "dance" will happen the rest of our lives.  It will take different forms at different ages, but it is permanent.

Now I look towards a new bond to form.  I find myself grieving for the fear and grief that David will go through as he is handed into this family.  I am grieving for him in advance.  I know that at 3 years of age he will realize so much and be able to express so little.  So as our bond forms it will immediately be going through some major stretching. As I go forward into this new bond I am anxious and pray that I am up to the challange.  But then I am reminded of one other bond.

That is the bond that is between Christ and I .  It was formed when I was a teenager and oooohhhh have I stretched, and pulled and poked and proded that bond.  Yet, it is a lifetime bond or rather a life giving bond.  I no longer try seeking independence, I need this bond.  It is the one that will bring me to my knees for David as he struggles against me.  It will be the one that gives me the patience and sight that I need to mother David and Samuel through their rough times.   It is the one that I continually feel in my spirit and the one that I will hold on to the tightest.  Only by my bond with Christ can my motherhood be possible.

So only through the Father can I be a mother.  Kind of ironic. But I am oh so thankful for it.

So on this American mother's day I will say Happy Mother's Day to my mother.  Skype is not working so well so here is my message to you mom.  Thank you.  I love you.

And for all of those other women that have poored knowledge, love, grace, and mercy into my life along side my mother...I thank you also.  The Lord has brought and continues to bring amazing "mothers" into my life to guide me.

I would also like to remember the birth mothers of my children.  We named Sam's birth mom Prya, which means beloved in Nepalese.   I need to find a Chinese name that means beloved and name David's birth mother.  I use these names to pray for these ladies.  I am very thankful for them and think of them on so many special days.  Thank you for these precious boys.

On May 16th I will be a mother... again.  I would appreciate your prayers as this new journey begins.

Blessings,
laurie