Crazy Signs...part II

This one made me laugh out loud.  Okay, so you give the bathroom a star rating.  So, of course, I had to try it... let's just say I am not so sure about the 4 stars.  Maybe a 2...maybe.  Considering there were no other star rated toilets, that we saw or that our guide knew about, it made me wonder about the basis of the Beijing Tourism Administrations.  Things that make you go hmmmmm.  

No explanation needed.

Many of you may wonder why I added this one.  (please ready the history on Mao).  This would be like putting a picture of Hitler in a prominent place in Berlin.  While we were in Ch*na I asked so many questions to our guides about Mao, history, different events, why people still worship this man.....you get the point.  Andreas really thought we were going to get in trouble, but I really wanted to know.  It helps me understand a culture more and how they think.  Needless to say, we were still allowed to adopt David and nothing bad befell us.  (very appreciative of that).  

Blessings,
Laurie

Funny Signs From Ch*na...part 1

While in Ch*na we very quickly began to see signs that frankly made us laugh.  I know that every country has them, but it seems that you can pick them out more easily when you are traveling.  So here is the first part of my funny signs from Ch*na.  

We saw this at a gas station.  Translation: if you happen to have dynamite on you, you are not allowed to light it at this gas station.  This made me wonder how many people where walking around with dynamite?  

I really need one of these!

This is a new one! Why specifically brain disease?  

So they say no climbing, but did they see the flight of stairs in front of us!  (For those of you who were wondering, it meant not to climb on that particular wall, but it seemed funny non the less).

Stay tuned there is more where that came from.

For those of you wondering how we are doing, my answer is please pray.  Samuel is really struggling with jealousy and a lack of patience for a David.  Not easy, not fun but the souls of my sons are so worth it!

Blessings,
Laurie

Another Good Memory

This video was done when Sam was three years old.  We are at my Aunt Judy and Uncle Marty's house in Wilmore, Kentucky.  Uncle Marty is a counselor and teacher of psychology and he is trying to do relaxation therapy with Sam.  I love the fact that you can hear my Aunt laughing in the background, she has a great laugh.  Miss you guys!  

Enjoy the memory with me.  

Blessings,

Laurie

Old Videos

While looking though our backup we found some old videos of Sam.  I will post this one tonight, it is by far one of my favorite.  I could watch this one a million times.  He is 2 years old in this video and we were living in Tupelo, Mississippi.  Andreas was still in seminary and I was working for New Beginnings Adoption agency there.  If you are having a hard time understanding what Sam says, think ''Jesus loves me''.  Andreas starts in Swedish, but the rest is in English.  Enjoy!

Blessings,
Laurie

p.s. Today is 5 months since David walked into that little office in Urumqi, China and his life changed drastically.  Wow, time flies!

Helping Orphans with Nutrition

I have posted about the Spoon Foundation before and if you haven't checked them out yet, you should.  Their mission is to help orphans around the world receive better nutrition and supplements.  Right now you can go to http://adoptionnutrition.org/yobaby-promotion/  print out a coupon for YoBaby yogurt.  For every coupon printed they receive a dollar to help with orphan nutrition.  You can only print the coupon once and they can get up to 3000 prints.  So please go and print away!

Blessings,
Laurie

Missing

Mr. Bear (yes, I know I am a genius at coming up with perfect names) is missing.  This little bear is the first stuffed fuzzy thing that David took a liking to.  All the other stuffed toys he was really scared of.  The cool thing about this bear is that he was the one that we sent to China for David's 3rd birthday.  Even though I am pretty sure he had never actually seen the bear in China, we got it back in his backpack of things and about 3 months after coming home David took a liking to him.  Mr. Bear has been his constant companion since.  At some point this past Saturday he came up missing and I am at a total loss as to where he is.  David has asked for him a couple of times, but doesn't show much emotion about it.  However, in my experience with David he doesn't actually show you how much he misses things until they show up again.  I would really like to find Mr. Bear because I would like David to learn permanency of things and this is a special thing.  

This may seem really silly to some (considering people starving, children being sold into slavery and the growing number of orphans in this world), but I know that Jesus knows where Mr. Bear is, so please say a little prayer that we will be shown where he is.  I know that Jesus cares, even about David's attachment to this little bear.  (Don't forget to pray for the things in the other brackets too).  

Blessings,
laurie

P.S.  If someone in Alingsas finds him you can call me at 0763402801.  Mr. Bear has David's name written in Chinese on the tag.  Thanks.

Just Being Together

Just spending time being a family, bonding, being crazy and loving each other.  Andreas is in full swing with being a pastor and with the second hand store.  Samuel is in school, English class, and gymnastics, David is home with me learning to be a kid and loving it, and I am...well tired!  But we are all happy and looking forward to the next step the Lord has for us (details to come in the distant future) ;).    

Blessings, 

laurie

Mowing the lawn with daddy

David still doesn't smile on que, but Samuel has it down!

A bit fuzzy, but it was ''pile on pappa'' time!  

4 Years

Yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of our coming to Sweden (for the second time).  It is hard to believe that we have been here for 4 years already.  I was reflecting on my time here and realized that there are still moments when I feel like a foreigner.  I wonder if I will ever feel like a Swede or even want to feel like a complete Swede.  Being an American is part of my identity (funny how that happens).  I wonder if my boys will feel that way.  Will their birth countries be a strong part of their identity?  What makes it strong for me?

Samuel knows that he is Nepali, but identifies more with Sweden (naturally).  David is still up in the air as to how much he really understands! (that will come with time).  What ties us to a culture?  Is it our genetics, our childhood, our memories?  It really does amaze me the strength of these ties.

Reading some in the Bible on the Kingdom of Heaven, it clearly states that we are citizens in another place.  This life and place are temporary.  If I so strongly identify myself as an American, how can I switch that to identify myself as a citizen of Heaven first and foremost?  How can I teach my boys that their main citizenship is in Heaven and not in what we see or live on this earth?  Of course we are teaching our children about Christ, their salvation and future in Heaven, but how to make it tangible to a 7 and 3 year old?  Not so easy, but necessary.  If I do it now they will always know it.

So as for my story, I would like it to begin with I am a child of God and a citizen of Heaven (with a slight attachment to the US, and a foot in Sweden).  I look forward to seeing what my sons stories will turn out to be.  I pray that God and Heaven will be first in their multicultural lives.

Where are your ties grounded?

Blessings,
Laurie

Pushing the Boundaries

Aaaahhhhh, those days that he just must push can be excruciating.  At every moment I am fighting agains his jealousies, wants, needs, fears, and angers.  He doesn't even seem to understand why he continues the path that he does.  I am patient... he pushes.  I get frustrated...he pushes.  I give hugs...he pushes.  I take mommy time outs...he pursues me to push all the more.  

His jealousies...

There are days that he is jealous of everybody and everything.  He cries if I have to let the dog out to pea or yells at the dog is he gets close for some petting.  

He will do everything and anything to get me off of my phone the moment someone calls.  I was on the phone with the doctors' office the other day and had to get to a quite room so I could understand the Swedish being spoken.  He grabbed his bottle of juice and followed.  I was sitting on my bed and he climbed up took a swig of juice and then proceeded to spit it all over my bed.  Yep... that got my anger  attention.  

That is just scratching the surface.  Of course most of his jealousy is directed at Samuel.  The moment Samuel needs my attention you can see the proverbial ''hair on his back'' raise.  I have to do everything to keep one on each side of me and then David is doing his best to get a foot or hand over to push Sam out of the way.  The hardest times are right in the morning or when we pick Sam up from school.  You think after having me for hours to himself that I could manage to hug Sam and talk to him about his day...not!  I try my best to stay calm and understand...harder said than done and I often fail.  I find myself repeating one phrase often ''I am both Samuel and David's mommy, you can both have hugs and kisses and love''.  To which David answers, ''NO''.  

Philippians 1:9-11
 ⁹ And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰ so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

His wants...

Attention, attention, attention and food (potato chips to be specific... not a staple in this house).

Psalm 103:4-6

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
 ⁶ The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all the oppressed.

His needs...

Attention, attention, attention, food, comfort, love, daily reminders that I am here to stay.  A week ago was four months that he walked into the little office in China to have his world turned upside down (again). I have to keep reminding myself that it is only 4 months and this is a season.  He is progressing, things have gotten better, but when does he understand that I am permanent?  How do you explain that to a child that has never had permanency.  The simple answer is that you don't, you must show it everyday, sometimes every moment.  There are days when his personality shines as bright as the sun.  He says hello to complete strangers, he plays little practical jokes, he laughs and smiles and shows us who he really can be.  Those days I am in awe of him and I think that we have won some battles to get him to this comfortable place.  But other days it disappears with the Swedish wind (a constant thing) and it seems we have ended back at square one.  

Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

His fears...

are not too hard to figure out.  He is afraid we will disappear like his birth parents had to, like his foster mom had too, like the ladies in the orphanage had to, like China had too.  I can hear a little panic in his voice if someone walks between us at the grocery store, or if he doesn't know exactly where I am... even in our tiny apartment.  He has gotten past the fear that he will not get food again, and no longer hords like he did.  I am thankful for the progress I do see.  

Psalm 46:1-3

 ¹ God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

His angers...

oh boy can this little one show anger.  About a month ago he started growling at us when he got angry. Andreas thought it was hilarious and growled back, which got David out of his foul mood and laughing, now that is there ''thing'' to growl back and forth.  However, David is a stubborn child (yes, even though they said he wasn't) and doesn't let go of his grudges easily.  Redirecting doesn't always work, sometimes we have to face the anger head on... with patience (easier said than done for this hormonal chikadee).  I am constantly saying I love you, which he replies ''NO'' to.  However, I can see glimpses of it sinking in.  I correct him and comfort him at the same time.  This seems to work, but not as instantly as I would like.  There are times when it takes up the whole day and I hate it when we end the night with one of his angry fits (as much as I try to avoid it).  If that happens he always wakes up cranky the next morning and leaves me feeling like a big ole' meany.  

Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

I cry for the scars that have been left on his young life.  I pray for his redemption.  I try my best to keep it all in perspective, but there are days that it gets the best of me.  Yeah, I know what you are thinking...''but you asked for this, for 3 1/2 years you wanted to adopt so badly.''  To which I will answer, ''yes, I did, and would do it again in a heartbeat. However, that doesn't make these days any easier, just gives them more purpose and God give them hope.''

Job 11:18

¹⁸ You will be secure, because there is hope;
   you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Still my joy, my son.

After all, every child is worth what we have to go through to parent them, love them, and redeem them for Christ.  Not every child will get that chance though... could you be that parent for one child, or more?  Is God calling you out to love the orphans, listen...answer.   

The Truth Behind the Politics

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/red-thread-adoptive-family-forum/2011/aug/3/united-states-unicef-war-international-adoptions/#.TjwgI7mkJ2O.Facebook

For years I have been against UNICEF and had many people look at me very strangly. At one point during our crumbling Nepal adoption I also wrote a post about it, but took it away for the sake of other Swedish couples adopting from there. Today I came across the article linked above. It is a really good article and I am not usually political, but UNICEF will always put me on my soap box!

The one greatest hope is that God is so much bigger and stronger than any organization on this earth.  Now there is hope for the children!  (the Catholic church has withdrawn their support for UNICEF...if that tells you anything)

Blessings,
Laurie

This is a MUST read!!!!

After the Airport

This article is a must read for adopters.  It is candid and true to life about what adoption is like once you get home.  This is especially true for older kids.  Everyones experience is different, but this expresses what many of us cannot put into words.

I totally agree. Thankful for this child...not quite living the domestic dream yet...getting down and dirty with the temper tantrums...exhausted...helping redeem God's child.  

Thank you Jen for your post!

Laurie

Samuel's 7th Birthday

Believe it or not, today my boy turned 7!  He was so excited from the moment he woke up to the moment he crashed.  And let me tell you I believe we kept Lego in business today.  He even received Lego from my mom in the States.  Here in Sweden 7 is a big deal.  It is the year you begin first grade, it is the beginning of more activities, and frankly it is a sign that the little boy that once was is trying to be the big boy that will be.  Sam struggles between the two sometimes and it makes me happy and breaks my heart at the same time.  It makes me happy because we work hard to help him love God, grow and learn to be independent.  However, it makes me sad because I do miss my sweet little boy that once loved to cuddle at night, preach on the packing crates and make the greatest face when things amazed him.  I am also sad because I see bits of his innocence disappear with age as he finds out more about the  world, people and life in general.  He still has an amazing heart for God and if he does something wrong it eats at him until he tells us.  I pray those things will stay.  

As he turns 7, I remember back to the day I walked into Sargamatha Children's home in Nepal and saw/held him for the first time. He was tiny, but happy and full of personality even at 15 months old.  He has always held so much promise (like every other kid is they have families to cheer them on), and captures a room with his presence.  He is contagious!  His energy flows to others, his spontaneity (which at times gets him in trouble) will enthuse anyone to go out and get things done.  He is God's gift to us when we thought there would be no children.  He was born in one of the lowest times of my life. 

I do not know exactly what happened on the day he was born, where he was born, exact day, or exact time, but I do know that God was there.  He was putting things in motion that would glorify him and create a new family.  He was showing a young couple His grace and a baby boy his mercy.  I have often prayed for his mother, whom we call Pria (beloved in Nepalese), I pray that on that day she felt the ministering hand of God also.  That in the few weeks he was with his biological family that they knew God was there and would take care of Sam.  That in their grief, there was hope and comfort.  

Yes, today my Samuel turned one more year older!  Samuel, you are an incredible boy.  You have given us so much joy, laughter, love and worry. You teach me so much about living life fuller.  You're honest, caring, crazy, and ready to live every minute to the fullest.  My prayer is that you will, with the heart of God that you still hang on to. That you will fulfill what He intends you to be and be so much more that this world would limit you to.  Please forgive me when I do not always appreciate your energy and independence.  I am blessed to be your mom, blessed to watch you grow and help in that process.  I will try to do my best to get out of your way when needed and to loving and kindly (not always so easy) correct you when needed.  I am proud of you and who you are becoming. Happy Birthday precious son.  I love you.  

love,

mommy 

Starting the morning with craziness.  This is right before the kids party.

We did tug of war, Andreas against the kids (Andreas won easily)

Against me and the kids, we won (but no so easily, this man is strong...I like it ;).

We did jump rope...I love how Sam is a little blurry...true to life.

We did red light, green light... love this pic.

We did church hide and seek...gotcha Ian.

We did spin the bottle, yep... it's true...but not what you're thinking.  We would spin the bottle to see who gave their gift to Sam.  Great game and the kids love it (thanks Kris for teaching us).

We did presents.

We did cuddles.

We did sugar cake cupcakes and candles (and hotdogs).

And we did general horsing around!  After the kids party we did an extended family dinner also...spoiled I tell ya.

Blessings,
Laurie

This is Hardly Easy

Looks Easy!

Attachment... how and when does it happen?  Unfortunately there is no simple answer to that.   Each child has had to endure different circumstances, and different care givers. Each child has their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses.  There is no mathematical solution for the perfect and quick attachment for all in the family.  We have been dealing with our own attachment issues.  David is perfectly attached to me and that began in China.  It has taken and is taking a little longer for Andreas, but it is the attachment between Sam and David that worries me the most.

Small glimpses of friendship

This summer has given us just small glimpses of what could be a friendship between our boys.  Samuel has gone from having all the toys, attention and love for over 5 years, to being a sibling.  David has gone from 3 different caregivers to having a mommy and daddy and actually getting his own toys for the first time in his memory (he was with his biological family for one year before they had to find him medical help by relinquishing him).  These factors don't make for an easy transition for our boys.  

As much as we tried to prepare Sam for this event, he still believed he was getting a sibling that would do everything he said to and that would be able to communicate perfectly.  On one of the first days home I overheard Samuel telling David that they were going to play together.  He went on to give instructions on how that was going to happen...

Sam:  David we are going to play with duplo.  

David: uuuhhh

Sam:  Since you don't know how to play with it and I do... you can watch while I play.

David:  AAAAAHHHHHHHH (as he reaches for the duplo Sam has just taken away).

This was just a small taste of what our summer has looked like.  As David becomes more comfortable he also becomes more assertive.  As David becomes more assertive, Sam becomes more irritated.  David communicates with some sign language, some words (almost) and mostly grunts, Sam has really struggled with how to adapt and understand.  As a mom it has also been a bit frustrating for me because the default setting on David seemed to be this grunting yell if he didn't get his way.  Now I am starting to notice a guttural growl when he is frustrated or doesn't get his way.  

Samuel has also struggled with knowing the difference between being a brother and being a parent.  He continually wants to tell David what to do and tell him no if Sam believes he is doing something wrong.  Poor Sam has heard... ''Stop being a parent''... many times this summer and I am sure it will flow into Fall and Winter (maybe his life).  Of course David doesn't take correction very well from Sam.  

So what could we have done to make this transition easier.  To be honest I have no earthly clue.  These are things that siblings learn when they become siblings, but we didn't start with the baby stage, we went straight for the toddler.  That makes it hard, but not impossible.  It makes it frustrating, but still very much worth it.  These lessons are family lessons.  Lessons that both of these boys will take with them into their families someday.  Learning to live with another that shares your room, your parents, your toys, your food and gets on your last nerves sometime.  These are not easy lessons for an adult let alone 

children, but they are lessons that I want them to learn now.  Even though it has been frustrating to break up yet another argument or fight over a toy I am praying that these lessons will stick.  Of course they will have to be reminded from time to time, but hopefully there will be longer periods of time between each reminder.  

A couple of weeks ago I was at my wits end when I believe the Lord reminded me of the goal with these two.  That was that they would become friends and love one another.  So I, in return, reminded Sam.  One of the absolutely beautiful things about Sam is his heart for people and God.  Early in the summer he made a small Bible.  In it he drew pictures and wrote a few words to remind himself what those pictures were about.  Each page was about a Bible story...the Good Samaritan, the cross, the resurrection, Zacheus, feeding the 5000 and so on.  He said he made this book so that when we were mad or frustrated we could look at it and remember Jesus and what Jesus wants us to learn from these stories.  He went to this book many times this summer and he would hand us this book when we needed it.  Then he would come back to is with his thoughts and oooohhh how sweet those thought were and how true. Sam reminded us so many times of the patience, grace and attachment that Jesus has for us and has shown us.   When I reminded Sam about being friends with his brother he pointed out Zacheus.  Sam then proceeded to tell me that Jesus became friends with Zacheus and he was friends with us.   All I could say was thank you Jesus for this sweet heart and the gentle reminder.  

Since that time things have gotten a little better.  Sam has started first grade and that might have really helped.  When Sam gets home the boys actually can play without fighting for a little while.  Today when David and I came home from a doctors appointment, Sam was already home with Andreas.  David raced out of the car screaming Samuel's name and ran to hug him (unusual).  Sam lit up and said it was the best hug for a long time.  

So while this sibling attachment is taking longer than I would like and the lessons are harder than they would like, it is working.  David is attaching... to all of us.  Are there moments when I feel like a monster because I am so frustrated I have to take mommy time-outs...yes.  Are there moments (like right now) that I feel like I need a break from it all...yes.  Are there moments when I need to pray to Jesus for the correct love for both of my children...yes.  But then there are those beautiful moments that God reminds me that he has done all of this for me, and he didn't have to take time-outs or any breaks... he just kept on loving me.  (that is not to negate that sometimes breaks are necessary!)

Not exactly happy to have to share Farmor.  

 

So I will look forward to the days when I see more friendship than fights.  

When I see more acceptance and love than frustrations.  

When I see two brothers who share secrets from their parents. 

 I  am believing in faith that it will happen.  

I am believing it because I know a mighty God that puts children in our hearts 

and orphans in our families to become full members and not longer orphans. 

Because I know a God that did that for me, and I know how much I fail.   

Yet he wanted me to be a full member in his family...

fights, frustrations and all.  

At the end of the day, I still have to relinquish it to Jesus (not as easy as it sounds) and rest...really rest.

 Laurie

Still Here

Yes, we haven't fallen off the Earth, just the grid for the last month.  I do have a lot to share in thought and pictures, but that will come in a week or two.  I would still appreciate if everyone would be praying for the two prayer requests below.  Karl, by the grace of God, is doing amazingly well, but still needs your prayers and the people in Norway are still grieving and need prayer.  

I will leave you with two pics that will let you know we are still here.  

Blessings,

laurie

Prayers Needed

There are two major prayers that are on my mind right now.

1.  You can pop over to http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
and be praying for Karl.  He was in a motorcycle accident at the beginning of the week and is fighting for his life.  We are praying that his lungs will stay clear of all infection, his brain will heal, and he will open his eyes voluntarily.  He is a young man that loves the Lord and many are interceding on his behalf...would you also please.

2.  For the people of Norway and those involved in the tragedy that has happened.  This is huge in Scandinavia and we are all reeling from the carnage.  There are families of at least 85 youth that are morning them today, not to mention the youth that got away and lived through the nightmare.  Then there are the families of those who lost their lives at the government building.  I believe the toll is 91 in all right now.  Please also pray for the men that did the crime and their families.  These men obviously have a lot of hate for multicultural societies (not to mention all of us adoptive families).  They need Jesus too.  On the news they are calling these men Christian Fundamentalists/Extremists.  Please pray that people would realize that they had nothing to do with Christ and that people would see Christ near in the healing.

Thank you,
Laurie