The Kjernald Family Adventures

Follow up...

2012-01-24T21:08:00.001+01:00

I am sorry that I have been so poor at posting this year. I will do my best to get better and I should have some pretty major news in the next few weeks.

However, I wanted to share how Mormor is doing because so many have asked. She is an amazing woman...it ends up that she fell because of some small strokes (nothing to unusual). That fall was enough to break her hip. She had surgery the next day and has not stopped praising God since she was taken to the hospital. Due to circumstances I will not share on such on open venue...Mormor is convinced that this was God helping her to move to the next stage of her life. She is at peace and being taken care of in the hospital for a few more days at least. She is truly amazing me. I hope I can praise at 80something and my hip gets broken.

So thank you for all of your prayers. Keep praying for healing and the decisions that still need to be made for the future, but don't forget to praise Jesus...even in the trials.

Blessings,
laurie

Borrowed Post

2012-01-19T23:49:00.002+01:00

In one of my readings of a friends blog, I found a breath of fresh air. Amy Kinnell (you can link to her blog on my roll) posted this link:

Don't Carpe Diem

It is an article in the Huffington Post that comes from a blog. I highly recommend it for the average mom. It put words to how I feel so often.

Enjoy,
Laurie

Prayer Needed

2012-01-16T13:17:00.000+01:00

Today has been a really hard day and it is only 1:00 in the afternoon. This morning Andreas' mormor (grandmother) fell and broke her leg. I know that doesn't seem so bad, but there are huge circumstances behind it all. Here is what we need prayer for:

1. Mormor is 88 years old...her leg will not heal easily if at all. Please pray that it will and she will not be in pain.
2. These two precious people are the matriarch and patriarch of this family. None of the family would be the people we are today without their love, support and prayers. Please help us all as we grieve this time and as Mormor, Margareta (mom) and P.G. (mom's brother) prayerfully consider the future.

Blessings,
Laurie

2012-01-13T09:37:00.000+01:00

The Kjernald Family 2011

- a year to remember

This year has been another tumultuous year for our family. It seems as if we just can't stay in one place for very long. As you can see by the picture we are very excited to share with you the "news" of our son David who we adopted in May.

Thanks to Sweden's generous parental- leave guidelines both Andreas and Laurie got to spend the first three months at home together with him and Samuel. We are very happy, stressed out and excited to be parents of our two lively and wonderful boys, but we would be lying if we said that it has been easy. As I write this I realize that it has taken quite a while for David to feel as if he belonged, but I think he is starting to realize that he is here for good. The bountiful Christmas gifts probably helped and we are looking forward to a time when Samuel and David are really good friends. All in due time, though.

Andreas has continued to enjoy pastoring the UMC church where he has been for the past four years although this year has seen some developments that will have a major impact on our future. The UMC in Sweden has merged with two other denominations to create a new denomination, a move that we will not make. Combined with the probable discontinuation of the congregation where we have served...let's just say that 2012 will be yet another year of moving for the Kjernalds. By our count, we are up to 16 moves in almost 15 years of marriage which is both annoying and wonderful (in that order, however!).

Samuel has started first grade and is doing really well. He is already able to read some fairly difficult passages in Swedish OR English and then translate it to the other language. He is also in gymnastics and practices twice a week. We continue to be amazed at him and what he can do. To be honest, there are times when we are also amazed at some of the less-than-stellar things he does, such as toilet-papering the bathroom in his school. A heart of gold, a mind of scattering thoughts struggling to focus and a smile and a laugh that will melt the polar icecaps faster than a Hummer.

David is best described as "happy". Though fiercely stubborn he is always up for a wrestling match and some good old fun and is, seemingly, never far away from pulling a simple prank or teasing us. Full of life, it has been really good to see David transform into a little boy that is

able to enjoy life as a three-year old should. From fearing everything from Kelty (our dog) to grass to sand to lacking a variety of non-starchy foods to you name it...he is now running around playing and walking with bare feet on our gravel driveway (well, a couple of months ago, too cold now).

Laurie has joined a gym. This, however, is not the big news. She continues to take care of our boys while making sure that our home is a home and not a house/apartment. She has also finished her Swedish classes and is now able to speak and understand this most beautiful language of all (hhhmm). She attends a Bible study and continues to make an impact for God with new and old friends, one even starting to attend church again after a long hiatus.

As we look forward to this new year it is clear to us that:

1)we have NO reason not to trust God to take care of us and

2)we are blessed to call you our friends and co-workers in His kingdom.

May God bless us all and revive us with Himself when times are dark and "rejoice" us with Himself when times are good.

Andreas, Laurie, Samuel and David

To End the Year

2011-12-29T21:29:00.001+01:00

To all,I pray that you have had a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful time with family and friends celebrating the birth of our Christ Jesus. We have had a wonderful, relaxing time at our home in the woods. It has been more than exciting to teach David about Christmas. He really got into saying Happy Birthday to Jesus and he had a good time setting up the manger scene. He seems very interested in all of it. He has had no idea why we had put a tree in our home, had special family nights and extra dinners with extended family. We didn't put the presents out until the night before. When he realized that he had presents and he got to open them it was quite exciting. He made this gutteral noise and tore right into them. I really think that it made him feel important that he received gifts also. Next year will be great also when we see him get excited with Sam because he knows something is coming. Praise Jesus to see him feel special and get to know he is a part of us. I haven't been able to post because our internet has been slower than molasses, but I did want to mention that yesterday on the 28th we recognized the 6 year anniversary of picking up Samuel in Nepal. What a blessing he has been for these six years. I can't believe how much he has grown and learned. It is quite exciting to see what he is and will become as he grows into an adult. I will always be so thankful for the blessing of being his parent. I can't link right now, but you can go to youtube.com and put in kjernald, adoption, nepal and see the video of us picking Samuel up. The music is not so good (you tube made us change it and we haven't been able to get some good stuff on there), but it is still worth a look (at least I think).We are celebrating New Years up at the ocean house again this year. Just a quite time with the family. I will try to get some pictures up before then, but I can't promise anything. Until then, I am praying for many of you, miss a ton of you and hope to see many this coming year. If I do not get to post until after the New Years, let me say...Happy New Year...may we take stock in all the God has done and taught us this past year and continue to be hidden in Him and only Him this coming year. Blessings,Laurie

This Day...6 years ago

2011-12-22T01:24:00.000+01:00

Today I am flooded with one specific memory. On December 21, 2005 we were living in Jackson, Mississippi, Andreas was in Seminary, and I was working for a church and working with amazing birthmothers for New Beginnings. The day started like any other when I received a call from a social worker named Don. He had 3 words for me...''you can go!''. Yes, six years ago today we were given permission to go to Nepal and pick up our first son. What a joyous day that was. We went from assuming we would spend Christmas not hearing anything (and being incredibly sad about it), to having plane tickets to leave Lexington, KY on December 26th. What a God given Christmas gift he was and continues to be. I still get butterflies in my stomach thinking about that day and all the anticipation that it held. However, I do praise Jesus that we are now 6 years on the other side of that adoption. What an incredible 6 years it has been.

Blessings,

laurie

Love the food stuck in his teeth! This pic is from the small play that his English class put on for the parents. Ironically, Sam was Father Christmas (ironic because we do not do Santa in this family). Sam got a kick out of it.

Sam,

We are so thankful for you. You are strong in body and heart. You are smart and caring. You are charming and funny. You ask profound questions about God and can give daddy the simplest answers to his theological questions and be right (the faith of a child). You are learning to be a good big brother and you continue to teach us as we try to parent you as Jesus would want us to. We love you and always will.

love,
Mommy and Pappa

Backlog....again

2011-12-18T13:24:00.001+01:00

In November, Samuel had Fall break. We couldn't do much, but we did decide to take the boat down to Fredrikshavn, Denmark and drive across the country (only took 40 minutes) to the biggest aquarium in Scandinavia. Now as impressive as that sounds, I have to admit, I was a little disappointed at the size of it. It was a really good size for the time we had and the kids were done at the end, but when you make those ''biggest'' claims, the American in me comes out. I expect really BIG. I must remember where we live. We had friends come along with us and a fun time was had by all (well, Kunal didn't feel so good, sorry). One thing I love about aquariums is the cool shadow lighting I can get with the camera. Yes, yes, I like the fish too.

So enjoy the pictures below. We had fun doing them and we appreciated that the kids cooperated (most of the time)!

This seal would follow our hand as we ran along the windows, it was really fun for Sam.

There is a kid in the middle, but it didn't work so well. I still think those water tubes are cool.

My strong boys, love David's strong pose.

That massive fish is called a Klump fisk in Swedish and a Sun fish in English (I think). I don't think I had ever seen one before. They had two of them here. Apparently they are very gentle, but they are massive.

Andreas captured this image. Sam is looking at a screen that lit up his face. I really love this pic.

They aquarium also had a seal feeding that we saw and a wind tunnel that made hurricane strong winds. It was pretty funny to watch the kids blow themselves away. I couldn't capture any of it without blur because the wind was soooooooo strong.

We topped the night off with a great dinner at a place called Moby Dick Seafood Restaurant (how appropriate). Then we took the boat back to Gothenburg. The kids actually stayed up until midnight when we drove off the boat, but they were asleep in two seconds once we were on the road. The next day all were exhausted, but glad to have gone.

Sometimes I wonder what David really thinks of all this being his first time to see any of it. I wish he could express himself better, would love to hear his thoughts. I do know that he really enjoyed it, so that will have to do.

Blessings,
Laurie

Backlog...

2011-12-18T12:48:00.001+01:00

Hey there you all...

I am sorry for the silence. My hormones have come up again to attack and frankly that makes me exhausted and cranky. One of these days I will share all that has happened in that area (because I feel like the Lord is prompting me to), but for now I will leave it at the above.

One of the things that I came home from Ch*na with (not including David) was a desire to learn to cook some of the things that David liked to eat... as well as the rest of us. The first thing I tried was Kung Poa Chicken. We ate this everyday in Ur*mqi at a Muslim restaurant down the street from our hotel. It was really good. I was happy to get that one in quite soon after we got home. I make it at least two times a month now.

The second one I have tried is Ch*nese dumplings or pot stickers. Not an easy undertaking, but I have to say well worth the effort. I found many recipes online and tried them a couple different ways, combining, doubling and trying different ways of preparing them. The last time I made them (I have made them about 5 times now) I finally got them just right for our taste. I don't have the exact recipe on me, but will share when I get it all combined and written down.

I will admit that I am not so good that I actually made the wrappers to the dumplings. I did buy them at one of the Asian stores in Gothenburg, but they work great. I have been doing pretty good at actually folding them also. I watched a few videos on youtube.com and off I went. I served them with rice and a cabbage/carrot mix that I fried with a little soy sauce (really good as a side). The kids and the husband really like them and we eat and eat and eat and eat. The only thing that stops David is that the dumplings run out. My husband took pictures the last time to prove that I was actually doing a good job. I know it sounds silly, but I really enjoy doing this for David especially, just one of those little special things for him. Of course he doesn't understand it, but maybe one day he will.

Blessings,

Laurie

Part 4

2011-12-07T22:50:00.001+01:00

Okay, I hope none of these are repeats, but they maybe. I know I haven't been on here much, but life seems to be going a mile a minute. Christmas is not that far away and I am simply not ready for things to be moving so quickly. The boys are doing great. They still fight, but I have noticed more times that they actually enjoy each other between the fighting (PRAISE JESUS).

David has his first meeting with a speech therapist tomorrow, which I am incredibly thankful for. He is really trying hard to talk and so we need them to start with the therapy. Please pray that he likes the therapist and wants to work.

Enjoy the signs that we got a kick out of.

Our guide said that this is suppose to mean...Keep of the grass. Not sure how you get that out of the sign, but hey I'm not judging!

It is hard to see, but the shirt was bought in Urumqi and it says...''It be game with you''. Again, I am at a loss as to what it means but thought I would at least get some conversation from people when they read it.

I was just wondering what was ''Patriotic'' about this?

I love that they called the low season, ''slack'' season. So do you get to ''slack off''' from November 1 to March 31?

Okay, this one had me laughing out loud...So are the railings the relics?

Hmmmm...Obama in a Mao uniform...what are they saying?

Awww, those poor seals! (for all you animal rights activists...they are talking about stamps)

Blessings,

laurie

Happy Birthday/Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T22:44:00.001+01:00

First I would like to say Happy Birthday to Dad (my father-in-law). I won't share exactly how old he is, but I will share that he is wonderful. He has been an amazing husband, dad, and granddad. As a matter of fact I believe David is a huge fan of his (David really likes to play with him) and I know Sam adores him.

Tack Pappa att du är så tålig och underbart. Vi är jätte tacksam för dig och allt som du gör för oss. Våra liv är mycket bättre med dig nära. Grattis på din födelsedag. Vi älskar dig.

David had only been home a week when this pic was taken.

Secondly, I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving. Even though it is not celebrated in Sweden, I will be having an international dinner tomorrow night with several family and friends from around the globe. The countries that will be represented will be...the USA (that's me), Nepal (Sam), China (David), Sweden (unfortunately not Andreas, he is in Riga, Latvia this weekend), India, Malaysia, Australia, Ireland, and Iraq. I don't know if I missed anyone, but I hope not. This years dinner is not nearly as big as the one two years ago when we had 16 countries represented, but it was not possible this year to pull off a big church bash, so it is a little more intimate this year.

I am very thankful to be celebrating at all and really miss my family in the States at this time. I am thankful for so much. This year has seen the end of our 3 1/2 year wait and David came to our family in May. God showed himself in so many ways through our journey and has been a comfort, a trusted friend and a sovereign God through it all. I am always thankful for my family (immediate and extended). My husband is a solid rock that continues to show me the way to Christ and loves me even when I feel truly unlovable. My children (who can drive me up a wall at times) are the most wonderful boys that I can imagine. I am continually in awe that I have been given the privilege to be their mommy. I continue to be thankful for my Bible study group and how they challenge me and keep me accountable. I am thankful for new and old friends and the blessings that they are even when they are an ocean(s) away or sitting in my living room drinking tea with me. I am thankful to have seen a very faithful God answer so many prayers, heal so many people, place so many orphans in families and redeem so many lost. This year has not always been easy, but the difficulty has also taught me to be thankful and look beyond myself.

I pray that today you all have a chance to stop, reflect, know God, and be thankful too. Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Blessings,
laurie

Six months and going.....

2011-11-16T21:25:00.001+01:00

In six months we have gone from this...

To this...

I just love that I caught this on film!

David has bloomed and will continue I am sure. He is a happy child, normally calm (but tends to whine because he cannot talk so well). He has reached a new level of comfort with me. I know this because he is pushing, and pushing, and pushing the boundaries. Yes, this wonderful child is learning that with parents..not only does he receive love and laughs and security, but discipline.

He understands both English and Swedish while still understanding Mandarin (when my friend is around to speak it to him). He will mainly answer in English (not surprising because I am with him the most). He does have a vocabulary, but not one that anyone outside the family really understands. I just laugh when people look at me and gasp because I know what he is saying. The funny thing is it is mainly melody. David has a great sense of melody and can repeat any melody that he hears. So with the words I listen to his melody and am able to figure out what he wants (hopefully speech therapy will start soon).

He knows and seems proud of his name. When we talk about him with doctors or the social worker he understands the difference between his Ch*nese name and his new name. He will say no to his old name and yes to his new name.

David is curious, helpful, loving, playful, friendly (except to Sam, well sometimes), and quick to pick up on things. He has great fine motor skills, but is still a bit clumsy with runny or walking. He didn't have much muscle tone 6 months ago, so now I think he is doing great. He has learned to run (without falling), ride a tricycle and a scooter, build with duplo and little legos (much to Sam's chagrin) and climb on most anything...he is a boy after all.

He will still eat anything you put in front of him and continue until he is stopped. But that is slowly disappearing. He is sleeping in his own bed, feels comfortable enough to come get me if he needs me, or wander around the house before any of us are up (normally I hear him pretty quickly). He loves books, cars, and anything that Sam says he is not allowed to play with.

David is recognizing friends, and remembers names quite easily. He still very much loves Farmor and Farfar (especially Farfar). I am still his number one pick, but Daddy has gone from number 79 to number 2! He is learning to fully enjoy a Pappa who is loving, but will wrestle and kid around with him. David really does like Sam. He will follow him and do everything Sam does, which of course annoys his older brother. They are both still quite jealous of one on one time for the other, but we are working that out (David truly believes I am his and not anyone else's. He will even try to get in between Andreas and I.)

So far I think he is doing really great. I love to see him pray and start mimicking the stories we tell from the Bible. He perks up when I read a story about King David. He is truly making his home with us, for which I am thankful. Of course things are always perfect (did you read the he is pushing the boundaries earlier?), but are things ever perfect or normal? Naaaaaaaa, that wouldn't be fun, at least now we are kept on our toes.

So please keep praying for us. Six months is still a very short time in the scheme of things.

David,
We can never express how happy and thankful we are that you are a part of our family. I love to see you shine! You are a beloved son, brother, grandson and cousin. You are not accidentally put here, but with purpose and love, from mommy and daddy's adopted Father. As we always say, ''Home is where the family is'', and you are home!

love,
mommy or maeee (as David says)

Old Sorrow, New Grieving

2011-11-10T00:18:00.001+01:00

Today is the year anniversary of my grandfather's death. My grandfather (Po Po as we called him) was an amazing man. He would never have thought it or boasted about it, but he has touch thousands, if not millions with his teaching on inductive Bible study. Robert A. Traina, Po Po, was loved by many, admired by many, and was the most humble, kind, patient, and loving person that I have ever known.

As his book is so titled, Po Po was methodical. He loved the Bible, studying and knowing it and God were a passion of his. God also imparted to Po Po the love of teaching. So he did not keep this passion to himself, but graciously gave it to many as a professor, dean and author.

On the more personal level he was a brother, husband, dad, grandfather, friend, pray-er, uplifter, listener, and laugher. His laugh was deep and heartfelt...and he laughed often. He loved us (his family) so deeply and lifted us to Jesus everyday of his life. I am sure that the prayers that Grandma and him raised to heaven helped me come to my Savior and marry a man that was like Po Po in so many ways.

Not only in his life did he teach me about Christ, but in his death. Last year I was able to make it back home a week before he died. He spent that last week in my Aunt's home (his youngest daughter), with my mom (his oldest daughter) and my Aunt taking care of him. Sam was with me and Po Po loved to see him and hold his hand (Po Po always had the warmest hands). Sam drew many pictures for him (he was taking care of Po Po too). When the rest of us would have to leave Po Po's room, Sam would go in and just hold his hand. Memories I will always cherish.

We really didn't know he was going to die that last week until the final two days. So we got to say good-byes and I love yous. His dignity and calmness followed him into eternity. He was ready to go home and we all knew it. He did not need to fight it, or tie up loose ends, his life had been lived to be prepared for the moment he would go to Jesus. And even though I have been taught about heaven so much in my life, it became all the more real to me as he entered it. Not because I saw heaven for myself, but watching and being with this man all my life and then watching him die showed me the full circle of a life lived well for Jesus. His words, his actions, his thoughts behind all of it, was for one purpose and he was ready when it came. I am beyond sure that he heard, ''well done, my good and faithful servant'' as he passed from this world into Heaven.

I know that I fail on so many levels to live up to what he has taught, but remembering makes me try harder. Not because he said so, but because it is all REAL. One day I will also step into eternity and I would like to be able to face it in the same calm manner because I am ready. Because I have lived my life with this purpose in mind. Which really means that I need to do that now, because eternity may not wait until I am 89 like Po Po.

So as Po Po would say, I have some ''wrong thinking'' that I need to deal with and simply go to my Bible. It is all there, know what it says, know God who is seeping out of every word and page. Live my life according to those words and love God wholeheartedly.

''In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God; all things were made through him and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has NOT overcome it.''
John 1:1-5

Po Po and I, when I was about 3 years old.

Thank you Po Po, for not only loving me, praying for me, and being the most amazing grandfather that you could be, but for living your life for the God you so dearly loved. You not only showed me the way, but thousands of others. I will always be your ''kissy baby''.

I miss you,
Laurie
(please forgive the typos, it is hard to write through the tears)

Perspective

2011-11-08T22:53:00.001+01:00

I know that I have been silent for a while on how the boys are doing. I just needed to get a little perspective. We are coming up on the 6 month mark for David. Wow, time flys and to be honest it has not always been fun, but we have had some great times.

David is a wonderful boy. He is much calmer than Sam, but they seem to enjoy each others humor, when they are not fighting. He has a great smile and those dimples just make you fall in love. However, it is the constant whine that dampens those dimples a bit. I know, I know...he is learning the language. But at this point it is actually more than that. We were told that we would have to wait at least 5 more months before they would call us in for speech therapy. Well, let me tell ya, that is not going to do. David wants to speak, he understands AMAZINGLY well. The problem here is that he cannot say the words. I work with him the best I know how and he really tries, but we need a professional. So we are pushing to try to bump up that 5 months. My real fear here is that he is developing patterns of whining that will continue even when he can say words. We do use a lot of sign language with him, but if we don't push him to use it, he will fall back to whining. As much as a mom loves her children the constant whine really gets to a girl.

David is also INCREDIBLY stubborn. I know many of you other adoptive parents and some non-adoptive parents (my mom for example), are saying ''we understand'' (actually my mom is laughing at me right now, saying ''I told you that your stubbornness would come back to bite you!'') The stubbornness served him well in Ch*na, but it is not serving him so well here. I have been pretty good and kept my patience about me, but I have to admit that today I lost it a bit. There was some yelling, followed by a time out (for both of us), and crying (on both our parts) and apologizing (on both our parts), then some hugs and cuddles. When it was over, I cringed to think about how angry I allowed myself to get. In my talk with God I am reminded that I too am stubborn beyond belief, and that I failed, but I still have more time and a God that is constantly patient with me. So tomorrow I will try again, while trying not to be stubborn myself with my Heavenly Father.

I am constantly reminded that my boys are an incredible blessing. Sometimes that reminder comes in the form of other adoptive moms and dads out there...so thank you.

So I would say that for now my perspective is still growing as we continue to grow as a family. But when I do get a breather and I step back, I am incredibly grateful for the privilege of parenting these boys. Awesome responsibility in the hands of Andreas and I. Sometimes I question our abilities, but in the end I cannot question God, because He really does know EXACTLY what He is doing.

Blessings,
Laurie

Part III

2011-11-01T23:14:00.000+01:00

There is Arabic, there is Mandarin and off to the side (hard to see) there is even Russian. Now that got confusing, especially since I can read or speak non of them!

They have very intelligent grass at the Heavenly Lake outside of Ur*mqi!

Patriotic?

Crazy Signs...part II

2011-10-29T22:12:00.001+02:00

This one made me laugh out loud. Okay, so you give the bathroom a star rating. So, of course, I had to try it... let's just say I am not so sure about the 4 stars. Maybe a 2...maybe. Considering there were no other star rated toilets, that we saw or that our guide knew about, it made me wonder about the basis of the Beijing Tourism Administrations. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

No explanation needed.

Many of you may wonder why I added this one. (please ready the history on Mao). This would be like putting a picture of Hitler in a prominent place in Berlin. While we were in Ch*na I asked so many questions to our guides about Mao, history, different events, why people still worship this man.....you get the point. Andreas really thought we were going to get in trouble, but I really wanted to know. It helps me understand a culture more and how they think. Needless to say, we were still allowed to adopt David and nothing bad befell us. (very appreciative of that).

Blessings,
Laurie

Funny Signs From Ch*na...part 1

2011-10-28T22:01:00.000+02:00

While in Ch*na we very quickly began to see signs that frankly made us laugh. I know that every country has them, but it seems that you can pick them out more easily when you are traveling. So here is the first part of my funny signs from Ch*na.

We saw this at a gas station. Translation: if you happen to have dynamite on you, you are not allowed to light it at this gas station. This made me wonder how many people where walking around with dynamite?

I really need one of these!

This is a new one! Why specifically brain disease?

So they say no climbing, but did they see the flight of stairs in front of us! (For those of you who were wondering, it meant not to climb on that particular wall, but it seemed funny non the less).

Stay tuned there is more where that came from.

For those of you wondering how we are doing, my answer is please pray. Samuel is really struggling with jealousy and a lack of patience for a David. Not easy, not fun but the souls of my sons are so worth it!

Blessings,
Laurie

Another Good Memory

2011-10-17T21:02:00.001+02:00

This video was done when Sam was three years old. We are at my Aunt Judy and Uncle Marty's house in Wilmore, Kentucky. Uncle Marty is a counselor and teacher of psychology and he is trying to do relaxation therapy with Sam. I love the fact that you can hear my Aunt laughing in the background, she has a great laugh. Miss you guys!

Enjoy the memory with me.

Blessings,

Laurie

Old Videos

2011-10-16T23:19:00.002+02:00

While looking though our backup we found some old videos of Sam. I will post this one tonight, it is by far one of my favorite. I could watch this one a million times. He is 2 years old in this video and we were living in Tupelo, Mississippi. Andreas was still in seminary and I was working for New Beginnings Adoption agency there. If you are having a hard time understanding what Sam says, think ''Jesus loves me''. Andreas starts in Swedish, but the rest is in English. Enjoy!

Blessings,
Laurie

p.s. Today is 5 months since David walked into that little office in Urumqi, China and his life changed drastically. Wow, time flies!

Helping Orphans with Nutrition

2011-10-12T00:30:00.000+02:00

I have posted about the Spoon Foundation before and if you haven't checked them out yet, you should. Their mission is to help orphans around the world receive better nutrition and supplements. Right now you can go to http://adoptionnutrition.org/yobaby-promotion/ print out a coupon for YoBaby yogurt. For every coupon printed they receive a dollar to help with orphan nutrition. You can only print the coupon once and they can get up to 3000 prints. So please go and print away!

Blessings,
Laurie

Missing

2011-10-10T23:12:00.000+02:00

Mr. Bear (yes, I know I am a genius at coming up with perfect names) is missing. This little bear is the first stuffed fuzzy thing that David took a liking to. All the other stuffed toys he was really scared of. The cool thing about this bear is that he was the one that we sent to China for David's 3rd birthday. Even though I am pretty sure he had never actually seen the bear in China, we got it back in his backpack of things and about 3 months after coming home David took a liking to him. Mr. Bear has been his constant companion since. At some point this past Saturday he came up missing and I am at a total loss as to where he is. David has asked for him a couple of times, but doesn't show much emotion about it. However, in my experience with David he doesn't actually show you how much he misses things until they show up again. I would really like to find Mr. Bear because I would like David to learn permanency of things and this is a special thing.

This may seem really silly to some (considering people starving, children being sold into slavery and the growing number of orphans in this world), but I know that Jesus knows where Mr. Bear is, so please say a little prayer that we will be shown where he is. I know that Jesus cares, even about David's attachment to this little bear. (Don't forget to pray for the things in the other brackets too).

Blessings,
laurie

P.S. If someone in Alingsas finds him you can call me at 0763402801. Mr. Bear has David's name written in Chinese on the tag. Thanks.

Just Being Together

2011-10-10T00:00:00.003+02:00

Just spending time being a family, bonding, being crazy and loving each other. Andreas is in full swing with being a pastor and with the second hand store. Samuel is in school, English class, and gymnastics, David is home with me learning to be a kid and loving it, and I am...well tired! But we are all happy and looking forward to the next step the Lord has for us (details to come in the distant future) ;).

Blessings,

laurie

Mowing the lawn with daddy

David still doesn't smile on que, but Samuel has it down!

A bit fuzzy, but it was ''pile on pappa'' time!

4 Years

2011-09-30T00:07:00.001+02:00

Yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of our coming to Sweden (for the second time). It is hard to believe that we have been here for 4 years already. I was reflecting on my time here and realized that there are still moments when I feel like a foreigner. I wonder if I will ever feel like a Swede or even want to feel like a complete Swede. Being an American is part of my identity (funny how that happens). I wonder if my boys will feel that way. Will their birth countries be a strong part of their identity? What makes it strong for me?

Samuel knows that he is Nepali, but identifies more with Sweden (naturally). David is still up in the air as to how much he really understands! (that will come with time). What ties us to a culture? Is it our genetics, our childhood, our memories? It really does amaze me the strength of these ties.

Reading some in the Bible on the Kingdom of Heaven, it clearly states that we are citizens in another place. This life and place are temporary. If I so strongly identify myself as an American, how can I switch that to identify myself as a citizen of Heaven first and foremost? How can I teach my boys that their main citizenship is in Heaven and not in what we see or live on this earth? Of course we are teaching our children about Christ, their salvation and future in Heaven, but how to make it tangible to a 7 and 3 year old? Not so easy, but necessary. If I do it now they will always know it.

So as for my story, I would like it to begin with I am a child of God and a citizen of Heaven (with a slight attachment to the US, and a foot in Sweden). I look forward to seeing what my sons stories will turn out to be. I pray that God and Heaven will be first in their multicultural lives.

Where are your ties grounded?

Blessings,
Laurie

Pushing the Boundaries

2011-09-23T23:14:00.000+02:00

Aaaahhhhh, those days that he just must push can be excruciating. At every moment I am fighting agains his jealousies, wants, needs, fears, and angers. He doesn't even seem to understand why he continues the path that he does. I am patient... he pushes. I get frustrated...he pushes. I give hugs...he pushes. I take mommy time outs...he pursues me to push all the more.

His jealousies...

There are days that he is jealous of everybody and everything. He cries if I have to let the dog out to pea or yells at the dog is he gets close for some petting.

He will do everything and anything to get me off of my phone the moment someone calls. I was on the phone with the doctors' office the other day and had to get to a quite room so I could understand the Swedish being spoken. He grabbed his bottle of juice and followed. I was sitting on my bed and he climbed up took a swig of juice and then proceeded to spit it all over my bed. Yep... that got my ~~anger~~ attention.

That is just scratching the surface. Of course most of his jealousy is directed at Samuel. The moment Samuel needs my attention you can see the proverbial ''hair on his back'' raise. I have to do everything to keep one on each side of me and then David is doing his best to get a foot or hand over to push Sam out of the way. The hardest times are right in the morning or when we pick Sam up from school. You think after having me for hours to himself that I could manage to hug Sam and talk to him about his day...not! I try my best to stay calm and understand...harder said than done and I often fail. I find myself repeating one phrase often ''I am both Samuel and David's mommy, you can both have hugs and kisses and love''. To which David answers, ''NO''.

Philippians 1:9-11
⁹ And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰ so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

His wants...

Attention, attention, attention and food (potato chips to be specific... not a staple in this house).

Psalm 103:4-6

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
⁶ The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all the oppressed.

His needs...

Attention, attention, attention, food, comfort, love, daily reminders that I am here to stay. A week ago was four months that he walked into the little office in China to have his world turned upside down (again). I have to keep reminding myself that it is only 4 months and this is a season. He is progressing, things have gotten better, but when does he understand that I am permanent? How do you explain that to a child that has never had permanency. The simple answer is that you don't, you must show it everyday, sometimes every moment. There are days when his personality shines as bright as the sun. He says hello to complete strangers, he plays little practical jokes, he laughs and smiles and shows us who he really can be. Those days I am in awe of him and I think that we have won some battles to get him to this comfortable place. But other days it disappears with the Swedish wind (a constant thing) and it seems we have ended back at square one.

Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

His fears...

are not too hard to figure out. He is afraid we will disappear like his birth parents had to, like his foster mom had too, like the ladies in the orphanage had to, like China had too. I can hear a little panic in his voice if someone walks between us at the grocery store, or if he doesn't know exactly where I am... even in our tiny apartment. He has gotten past the fear that he will not get food again, and no longer hords like he did. I am thankful for the progress I do see.

Psalm 46:1-3

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

His angers...

oh boy can this little one show anger. About a month ago he started growling at us when he got angry. Andreas thought it was hilarious and growled back, which got David out of his foul mood and laughing, now that is there ''thing'' to growl back and forth. However, David is a stubborn child (yes, even though they said he wasn't) and doesn't let go of his grudges easily. Redirecting doesn't always work, sometimes we have to face the anger head on... with patience (easier said than done for this hormonal chikadee). I am constantly saying I love you, which he replies ''NO'' to. However, I can see glimpses of it sinking in. I correct him and comfort him at the same time. This seems to work, but not as instantly as I would like. There are times when it takes up the whole day and I hate it when we end the night with one of his angry fits (as much as I try to avoid it). If that happens he always wakes up cranky the next morning and leaves me feeling like a big ole' meany.

Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

I cry for the scars that have been left on his young life. I pray for his redemption. I try my best to keep it all in perspective, but there are days that it gets the best of me. Yeah, I know what you are thinking...''but you asked for this, for 3 1/2 years you wanted to adopt so badly.'' To which I will answer, ''yes, I did, and would do it again in a heartbeat. However, that doesn't make these days any easier, just gives them more purpose and God give them hope.''

Job 11:18

¹⁸ You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Still my joy, my son.

After all, every child is worth what we have to go through to parent them, love them, and redeem them for Christ. Not every child will get that chance though... could you be that parent for one child, or more? Is God calling you out to love the orphans, listen...answer.

The Truth Behind the Politics

2011-09-23T21:36:00.001+02:00

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/red-thread-adoptive-family-forum/2011/aug/3/united-states-unicef-war-international-adoptions/#.TjwgI7mkJ2O.Facebook

For years I have been against UNICEF and had many people look at me very strangly. At one point during our crumbling Nepal adoption I also wrote a post about it, but took it away for the sake of other Swedish couples adopting from there. Today I came across the article linked above.It is a really good article and I am not usually political, but UNICEF will always put me on my soap box!

The one greatest hope is that God is so much bigger and stronger than any organization on this earth. Now there is hope for the children! (the Catholic church has withdrawn their support for UNICEF...if that tells you anything)

Blessings,
Laurie

This is a MUST read!!!!

2011-09-14T00:04:00.000+02:00

After the Airport

This article is a must read for adopters. It is candid and true to life about what adoption is like once you get home. This is especially true for older kids. Everyones experience is different, but this expresses what many of us cannot put into words.

I totally agree. Thankful for this child...not quite living the domestic dream yet...getting down and dirty with the temper tantrums...exhausted...helping redeem God's child.

Thank you Jen for your post!

Laurie

Samuel's 7th Birthday

2011-09-10T22:43:00.000+02:00

Believe it or not, today my boy turned 7! He was so excited from the moment he woke up to the moment he crashed. And let me tell you I believe we kept Lego in business today. He even received Lego from my mom in the States. Here in Sweden 7 is a big deal. It is the year you begin first grade, it is the beginning of more activities, and frankly it is a sign that the little boy that once was is trying to be the big boy that will be. Sam struggles between the two sometimes and it makes me happy and breaks my heart at the same time. It makes me happy because we work hard to help him love God, grow and learn to be independent. However, it makes me sad because I do miss my sweet little boy that once loved to cuddle at night, preach on the packing crates and make the greatest face when things amazed him. I am also sad because I see bits of his innocence disappear with age as he finds out more about the world, people and life in general. He still has an amazing heart for God and if he does something wrong it eats at him until he tells us. I pray those things will stay.

As he turns 7, I remember back to the day I walked into Sargamatha Children's home in Nepal and saw/held him for the first time. He was tiny, but happy and full of personality even at 15 months old. He has always held so much promise (like every other kid is they have families to cheer them on), and captures a room with his presence. He is contagious! His energy flows to others, his spontaneity (which at times gets him in trouble) will enthuse anyone to go out and get things done. He is God's gift to us when we thought there would be no children. He was born in one of the lowest times of my life.

I do not know exactly what happened on the day he was born, where he was born, exact day, or exact time, but I do know that God was there. He was putting things in motion that would glorify him and create a new family. He was showing a young couple His grace and a baby boy his mercy. I have often prayed for his mother, whom we call Pria (beloved in Nepalese), I pray that on that day she felt the ministering hand of God also. That in the few weeks he was with his biological family that they knew God was there and would take care of Sam. That in their grief, there was hope and comfort.

Yes, today my Samuel turned one more year older! Samuel, you are an incredible boy. You have given us so much joy, laughter, love and worry. You teach me so much about living life fuller. You're honest, caring, crazy, and ready to live every minute to the fullest. My prayer is that you will, with the heart of God that you still hang on to. That you will fulfill what He intends you to be and be so much more that this world would limit you to. Please forgive me when I do not always appreciate your energy and independence. I am blessed to be your mom, blessed to watch you grow and help in that process. I will try to do my best to get out of your way when needed and to loving and kindly (not always so easy) correct you when needed. I am proud of you and who you are becoming. Happy Birthday precious son. I love you.

love,

mommy

Starting the morning with craziness. This is right before the kids party.

We did tug of war, Andreas against the kids (Andreas won ~~easily)~~

Against me and the kids, we won (but no so easily, this man is strong...I like it ;).

We did jump rope...I love how Sam is a little blurry...true to life.

We did red light, green light... love this pic.

We did church hide and seek...gotcha Ian.

We did spin the bottle, yep... it's true...but not what you're thinking. We would spin the bottle to see who gave their gift to Sam. Great game and the kids love it (thanks Kris for teaching us).

We did presents.

We did cuddles.

We did sugar cake cupcakes and candles (and hotdogs).

And we did general horsing around! After the kids party we did an extended family dinner also...spoiled I tell ya.

Blessings,
Laurie

This is Hardly Easy

2011-08-26T01:00:00.000+02:00

Looks Easy!

Attachment... how and when does it happen? Unfortunately there is no simple answer to that. Each child has had to endure different circumstances, and different care givers. Each child has their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses. There is no mathematical solution for the perfect and quick attachment for all in the family. We have been dealing with our own attachment issues. David is perfectly attached to me and that began in China. It has taken and is taking a little longer for Andreas, but it is the attachment between Sam and David that worries me the most.

Small glimpses of friendship

This summer has given us just small glimpses of what could be a friendship between our boys. Samuel has gone from having all the toys, attention and love for over 5 years, to being a sibling. David has gone from 3 different caregivers to having a mommy and daddy and actually getting his own toys for the first time in his memory (he was with his biological family for one year before they had to find him medical help by relinquishing him). These factors don't make for an easy transition for our boys.

As much as we tried to prepare Sam for this event, he still believed he was getting a sibling that would do everything he said to and that would be able to communicate perfectly. On one of the first days home I overheard Samuel telling David that they were going to play together. He went on to give instructions on how that was going to happen...

Sam: David we are going to play with duplo.

David: uuuhhh

Sam: Since you don't know how to play with it and I do... you can watch while I play.

David: AAAAAHHHHHHHH (as he reaches for the duplo Sam has just taken away).

This was just a small taste of what our summer has looked like. As David becomes more comfortable he also becomes more assertive. As David becomes more assertive, Sam becomes more irritated. David communicates with some sign language, some words (almost) and mostly grunts, Sam has really struggled with how to adapt and understand. As a mom it has also been a bit frustrating for me because the default setting on David seemed to be this grunting yell if he didn't get his way. Now I am starting to notice a guttural growl when he is frustrated or doesn't get his way.

Samuel has also struggled with knowing the difference between being a brother and being a parent. He continually wants to tell David what to do and tell him no if Sam believes he is doing something wrong. Poor Sam has heard... ''Stop being a parent''... many times this summer and I am sure it will flow into Fall and Winter (maybe his life). Of course David doesn't take correction very well from Sam.

So what could we have done to make this transition easier. To be honest I have no earthly clue. These are things that siblings learn when they become siblings, but we didn't start with the baby stage, we went straight for the toddler. That makes it hard, but not impossible. It makes it frustrating, but still very much worth it. These lessons are family lessons. Lessons that both of these boys will take with them into their families someday. Learning to live with another that shares your room, your parents, your toys, your food and gets on your last nerves sometime. These are not easy lessons for an adult let alone

children, but they are lessons that I want them to learn now. Even though it has been frustrating to break up yet another argument or fight over a toy I am praying that these lessons will stick. Of course they will have to be reminded from time to time, but hopefully there will be longer periods of time between each reminder.

A couple of weeks ago I was at my wits end when I believe the Lord reminded me of the goal with these two. That was that they would become friends and love one another. So I, in return, reminded Sam. One of the absolutely beautiful things about Sam is his heart for people and God. Early in the summer he made a small Bible. In it he drew pictures and wrote a few words to remind himself what those pictures were about. Each page was about a Bible story...the Good Samaritan, the cross, the resurrection, Zacheus, feeding the 5000 and so on. He said he made this book so that when we were mad or frustrated we could look at it and remember Jesus and what Jesus wants us to learn from these stories. He went to this book many times this summer and he would hand us this book when we needed it. Then he would come back to is with his thoughts and oooohhh how sweet those thought were and how true. Sam reminded us so many times of the patience, grace and attachment that Jesus has for us and has shown us. When I reminded Sam about being friends with his brother he pointed out Zacheus. Sam then proceeded to tell me that Jesus became friends with Zacheus and he was friends with us. All I could say was thank you Jesus for this sweet heart and the gentle reminder.

Since that time things have gotten a little better. Sam has started first grade and that might have really helped. When Sam gets home the boys actually can play without fighting for a little while. Today when David and I came home from a doctors appointment, Sam was already home with Andreas. David raced out of the car screaming Samuel's name and ran to hug him (unusual). Sam lit up and said it was the best hug for a long time.

So while this sibling attachment is taking longer than I would like and the lessons are harder than they would like, it is working. David is attaching... to all of us. Are there moments when I feel like a monster because I am so frustrated I have to take mommy time-outs...yes. Are there moments (like right now) that I feel like I need a break from it all...yes. Are there moments when I need to pray to Jesus for the correct love for both of my children...yes. But then there are those beautiful moments that God reminds me that he has done all of this for me, and he didn't have to take time-outs or any breaks... he just kept on loving me. (that is not to negate that sometimes breaks are necessary!)

Not exactly happy to have to share Farmor.

So I will look forward to the days when I see more friendship than fights.

When I see more acceptance and love than frustrations.

When I see two brothers who share secrets from their parents.

I am believing in faith that it will happen.

I am believing it because I know a mighty God that puts children in our hearts

and orphans in our families to become full members and not longer orphans.

Because I know a God that did that for me, and I know how much I fail.

Yet he wanted me to be a full member in his family...

fights, frustrations and all.

At the end of the day, I still have to relinquish it to Jesus (not as easy as it sounds) and rest...really rest.

Laurie

Still Here

2011-08-15T21:25:00.000+02:00

Yes, we haven't fallen off the Earth, just the grid for the last month. I do have a lot to share in thought and pictures, but that will come in a week or two. I would still appreciate if everyone would be praying for the two prayer requests below. Karl, by the grace of God, is doing amazingly well, but still needs your prayers and the people in Norway are still grieving and need prayer.

I will leave you with two pics that will let you know we are still here.

Blessings,

laurie

Prayers Needed

2011-07-24T00:17:00.001+02:00

There are two major prayers that are on my mind right now.

1. You can pop over to http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
and be praying for Karl. He was in a motorcycle accident at the beginning of the week and is fighting for his life. We are praying that his lungs will stay clear of all infection, his brain will heal, and he will open his eyes voluntarily. He is a young man that loves the Lord and many are interceding on his behalf...would you also please.

2. For the people of Norway and those involved in the tragedy that has happened. This is huge in Scandinavia and we are all reeling from the carnage. There are families of at least 85 youth that are morning them today, not to mention the youth that got away and lived through the nightmare. Then there are the families of those who lost their lives at the government building. I believe the toll is 91 in all right now. Please also pray for the men that did the crime and their families. These men obviously have a lot of hate for multicultural societies (not to mention all of us adoptive families). They need Jesus too. On the news they are calling these men Christian Fundamentalists/Extremists. Please pray that people would realize that they had nothing to do with Christ and that people would see Christ near in the healing.

Thank you,
Laurie

Birthdays....

2011-07-17T22:19:00.000+02:00

On the 14th my wonderful husband celebrated 37 years of life. We were together with his parents at their summer home on the ocean. So a little late on the blog, but happy birthday to my wonderful husband and an awesome father. Below are pictures that show what we did that day.

I also wanted to mention that on the 16th my brother turned 40 years old (man your old!). Happy Birthday Enzo, we love and miss you.

Blessings,

Laurie

Don't worry folks, he has total control!

The day ended with this incredible rainbow. It was actually a full one, but I couldn't capture the whole thing. Thanks God for the amazing show...and the promise.

Even though they look a little radio active it is just the sunset. Here are the wonderful parents that created and raised my amazing husband. Thank you mom and dad you did a great job.

We had the added privilege of seeing a seal on land during our boating trip. We usually don't see them on land so close in the archipelago, so this was a treat for us all.

This is dad enjoying a little playtime. Actually he is playing with Sam, but I couldn't resist snapping a picture that looks like he is playing alone.

David learning how to steer the boat. We went in many circles!

Sweet Smiles and Sleep

2011-07-09T22:46:00.003+02:00

Hello All,

We are doing well. It is amazing how far David has come in 7 weeks of having a family. Today I snapped the first picture where he actually smiled when I asked him too. It is the first one below and I think it is so sweet. We are living out at our house in the woods and learning to be a family. The boys fights are fewer and fewer, but still there (and probably always will be), David is feeling more stabil (I think). All the friends that have seen him lately have said that he looks more confident and safe. I am amazed at how his body shape is changing with all the exercise and fun we are having. He is really starting to get muscle tone (which he had practically none of) and he is not nearly as clumsy as he was when we first got him.

I am constantly amazed that I have two beautiful boys and thankful for the grace of Christ that gave them to us. What a blessing they are and will continue to be. (don't get me wrong, I do get frustrated and angry with them now and again, but I will always be thankful the I have that chance to feel all those mommy feelings and do all those mommy things).

I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer. Andreas preaches this Sunday and next so he goes to his little stuga (cabin) and works on his sermons, the kids and I play, play, play and play. We are always glad when daddy gets to join the fun also (which is quite a lot lately). These are the days that get us through the dark winters, so I am not going to squander them.

Bye for now,
Laurie

He actually smiled at the camera, that's a first.

He was definitely being tickled for this smile.

Samuel loving riding the horse at the Borås Zoo

Today's fun activity at the lake. I believe that Samuel is instructing him on how to use the rubber dingy.

While we were rowing back to land, David fell asleep. We put him on the ground while we unpacked the boat and he was sound asleep. He would have had a hissy fit if he knew he was laying in grass (still having issues with textures).

Now that is the picture of a sound sleeper. Disclaimer: I know it looks a little dangerous in this pic, but it really wasn't. He can't roll into the lake because of the life vest and where he was laying.

Sweet Summer Pics

2011-07-03T23:29:00.000+02:00

Just the boys being boys. Fun and crazy!

David loves my bag clips. So he uses them for various things. This day he decided they would look good in his hair. Sam is just being silly...pretty normal.

I was shocked the David actually pet the animals at the petting zoo. Progress...thank you Jesus for progress.

Where there is water...there will be the Kjernald boys.

All that fun makes a boy tired.

Hope everyone is having a good summer.

Blessings,

Laurie

The Spoon Foundation Survey

2011-06-29T01:08:00.001+02:00

Ladies and Gentlemen it is a double post today so don't stop at this one.

I found a nutrition help a few months back called the Spoon Foundation. http://www.spoonfoundation.com/ It had information about nutritional needs for adopted children. I was quite interested in what they were trying to do with education and getting needed nutrition to children in orphanages around the world. Of course it is started by moms who have adopted children that had special needs. These needs turned out to be nutritional and not severe medical needs. They asked me to put up this survey so they can help more adopted parents with there questions about transitioning children from their native diet to their new diet when adopted. Please take the time to fill it out. I think this is worth it.

The link is:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LZYBK9C

Blessings,
Laurie

Swedish Summers

2011-06-29T01:00:00.000+02:00

As most people know Scandinavia is not known for it's warm weather. But I have to say, that when summer does come it is the best day of the year! Ha ha... when it does finally get warm and stop raining Sweden is one of the most beautiful places I know. However, last week was very discouraging. It was very cold and rainy.

During all the rain of last week, David and I went to the store to buy him rubber boots (an essential in Sweden). I learned a lesson from buying those boots for him. Apparently, he had noticed that we all had them. When I started trying them on him at the store he lit up and wouldn't take them off the whole time. He clearly communicated that he wanted to wear them and not the ones he came in with. Of course I thought it was cute, but didn't think much of it. When we got home David made sure to show Andreas and Sam his new gummy boots. Again, very cute, but the lesson was about to come. He ran into the house and took his boots off and put them right next to Samuel's gummy boots. He pointed the them and said ''Amel'' (David's version of Samuel), then he pointed to his and said ''Avid''. Then Andreas was putting his on and David got so excited, pointed to Andreas' boots and said ''A..A'' (Pappa). Then of course we had to name mine also. His excitement grew each time. He did this over and over again. He loved having the same as the rest of the family, it placed him with us...on the same level. I truly feel like it made him feel loved and like he belonged here. What was to me a necessity, to him meant that he fit in.

And it makes me think again what it means to belong in a family. To him it was as simple as boots and to look the same. What does it mean to me to be in the family of God? What do I need to feel like I fit in God's family? How can I look like my family? Not only the outside, but inside my heart and mind.

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

So I rejoice with my son that he is beginning to understand family. I understand that I still need to work on being a part of my family. I need to continually renew my mind and look more and more like Christ and less like my selfish self. I believe I forget that so easily and yet a little child can be used to show me once again. Adoption is not just bound to the physical form that we experience, but the spiritual that we base our lives upon.

Romans 8:14

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[g] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

I am thankful to be reminded of this and am humbled to be parenting two boys that continually show me God's grace every day of my life. I simply have to take the time and look.

Blessings,

Laurie

Here is David in his new boots and rain gear.

Enjoying the outdoors even in the very cold weather.

For those of you who don't know there is a Midsummer Festival in Sweden. They dance around the May pole (which still looks very much like the fertility symbols of the old pagan rituals) and sing about small green frogs and other silly little kids songs (I think you have to be Swedish to get it). We don't actually participate in this fun, but Sam managed to get the flower head wreath from Andreas' cousins who were celebrating at the other summer home just down the lane. The boys looked adorable.

We decide to go up to the ocean house and join the rest of the family for a little fun and the sun finally came out and warmed this beautiful land.

Mom knows how to enjoy a warm day!

We had lots of fun on the new slip and slide.

If there is water...David is there!

Then this amazing thing happened. David actually went into the grass without shoes! This is a first folks. He hates to get his feet on anything. I was so proud.

Andreas relaxing and enjoying some warmth.

Today we went to our favorite lake and rowed out to the ''Island of Sodor'' as Sam so named it years ago. David was a bit sleepy but I love how he looks in my sunglasses. He is so hip!

2011-06-22T22:55:00.000+02:00

Yes, everyday we do see progress and below are two ways that has happened. On another note that needs some prayer... David has night terrors. They seemed to be getting better and he would even go some nights without whining, but the past two nights he has been sitting up in bed and fighting with something when I come in (tonight I only heard two whines before I was with him). He calms down immediately once I get to him. I just need to put him in my arms and he stops fighting and sleeps again. He doesn't fight going to sleep so he obviously doesn't remember anything. I don't know what he is fighting in his sleep, but it breaks my heart, but I know that Jesus can calm this fear we just need to ask. Will you please pray for him with me?

Thank you,

Laurie

This is the boy that a month ago would not let me put him down and would hold his feet up as far as possible so that the dog would not get him. He was terrified (no exaggeration) of this dog. Today he did this spontaneously! Praise Jesus for even the simplest of progress.

I love this picture. The boys are so interested in Pappa working with tools. I am so thankful that David was not afraid. When we first got home he was afraid of all loud noises.

New Days, New Jealousies, New Steps to Normal

2011-06-20T21:31:00.000+02:00

Lest anyone thinks that this is all ease and fun....think again.

I watch as Samuel struggle with not wanting David around to wanting David to pay a ton of attention to him. I watch David want to do everything that his big brother is doing, but then scream anytime Samuel gets near the toys that David happens to be playing with. I watch them both be jealous of each other with mom and dad. However, there are moments when they are playing together beautifully and giggling with each other and it makes my heart melt. I really believe that they will be good friends one day, it will just take time and effort.

Even though Sam has had his moments, I have to say that never once has he hit David, even when David has repeatedly hit him. I am really proud of Sam for that. He will be a great big brother (once he is allowed to get near David without a scream). David is learning that Sam will not always (just sometimes) rip the toy away from him. However, a lot of the screams comes from lack of ability to communicate with us. I am hoping that we will get the ball rolling on speech therapy soon. David is also doing a lot better with the hitting and his anger is subsiding. I know he has had to go through a lot (understatement). So it is good to see him relaxing more and not hitting everyone...except his brother...and that may never go away!

But this mom (and dad) are in love with both of these boys and thankful for them despite the jealousies.

Blessings,

Laurie

This boy adores water... even the freezing water of Sweden. I love to see him laugh and be free of the cares he has had to deal with.

Sam is about to take a horse ride and I think he looks precious in that helmet (or helmhat as he calls it).

Here is a typical jealous picture. Sam wanted me and David will not let go either. They are getting better though. We are making sure that they both get us one on one sometimes.

14 Years

2011-06-17T21:44:00.000+02:00

Yesterday was my 14 year anniversary. My wonderful husband has actually put up with me and loved me through it all for 14 years. Yes, I can hear the applause now. In all seriousness, he has been an incredible husband, friend and father. I continue to be blessed by this amazing man of God. I am thankful for who he is and what he is continuing to become. I love his passion for theology and apologetics and his desire to show others the practical love of Christ. I look forward to what God has for us in the future and walking the path with him, side by side.
Laurie

I really love this picture. We were in Urumqi and they were flying kites in the square. So sweet.

This is my husband the last night in China (after his shaver stopped working). He is a handsome man!

Samuel's Kindergarden Avslutning (graduation)

2011-06-17T21:31:00.000+02:00

This past Wednesday Sam graduated from Kindergarden. Yes, all you Americans are thinking...but he is six. Here in Sweden they start Kindergarden a year later. For Sam this has been a really good thing. It has helped him mature a little more and face the challenges that have come down the pipe. So this Fall he will be in first grade. Where did the time go? Unfortunately I cannot share the pictures because they have other kids in them. However, if anyone would like to leave Sam a graduation wish feel free.

Blessings,

Laurie

Progress

2011-06-12T21:39:00.000+02:00

There are moments and days that I wonder if we are moving forward and progressing with David. Then there are days that I absolutely know we are. However, as I am judging how well or not well I am doing I have to remember that it has been less than a month that he has been with us. This Thursday will be a month and it will also be my 14th anniversary.

I am truly amazed at how children adapt and learn. I know it is not always easy, but I have seen a lot of adopted children and they always amaze me (even those who have a harder time with the adjustment). To think that less than a month ago this precious little guy walked into a room in Urumqi with no idea that he would be wisked away to Sweden, have to adjust to yet another placement in his life and learn two new languages when he has enough problems trying to speak Mandarin. Yet, he is blooming. David changes a little everyday. We learn new things about his personality and his audacity, his sense of humor and his stubborness. Yet there is one area that he cannot express yet, but I know it is there. That is his saddness and insecurity. He must wonder what has happened to his foster mom and his foster siblings. He must wonder why he went from a place where all the people look like him to lots of blonde people (he watches any Asian person he sees with great intensity).

I know I will have to wait for some of this sadness to come out, but I hear it in his cry at night. He kind of wakes up and cries. He has only actually cried for mamma once. All the other times it is just a cry. It is really sad for me to hear and breaks my heart that he has gone through so much in his short life. I lay down beside him and caress his face or arm and tell him mamma is there. He eventually calms and falls into a deep sleep again. I wonder when that will disappear. I wonder what it exactly is. I wonder if he did it in China also. So for now I just comfort and pray over this precious child that we are falling deeper and deeper in love with.

I remind myself that there is a Healer and He has placed David here with us. How humbled I am yet again to be a mother by the grace of God. How humbled I am to lead both of my precious boys to the cross and pray with all I have that they take hold of it and live for Jesus. I may not know what happened to David or Sam before we were blessed with them, but Christ does, and he wants to redeem it all.

So we will continue to live and learn as a family and as children of God. I will continue to enjoy the bedtime routine with David as he jumps on top of me and kisses me with all his might (the kissing thing is new to him). I will continue to enjoy hearing and seeing my boys learn to play and laugh together. I will continue to watch in wonder as Andreas fathers our children in such a Christ-like way and David learns the wonders of having and incredible daddy. I will continue to be amazed as both Samuel and David become the men that God wants them to be. And I will always be thankful for the gift of being a mother.

Blessings,
Laurie

This was taken at the Heavenly Lake outside of Urumqi. It was the first time that David and Sam really connected and eventually even held hands together. It was quite precious.

Random Pics from China

2011-06-07T22:19:00.000+02:00

You know to be perfectly honest I haven't even seen all of our pictures from China. We had tons of video also that we need to get through... hopefully this summer will allow us to work on that. I think we have some great pics we just have to get them together. So if you are patient with me I will work on it. Tonight I just picked a few that I liked to share. (one of these days I will have some great funny signs to put up). China seems like a blur right now, but I once we get a little more settled and collected maybe I will have more time to reflect.

Tonight was a hard one. Andreas had a meeting...Sam was overly tired and went to bed crying and thinking I was a bad mom because he couldn't play on the computer anymore and David didn't want to go to bed either. I didn't win any awards today! I need sleep too otherwise I am going to go to bed crying. I keep sending skygrams to Jesus, I am truly thankful that he is listening.

David continues to adjust. He still wants to be in my arms 24/7 but we are working on that. A huge breakthrough today is that he actually pet the dog! We are making progress. Sometimes it is hard to tell what is adjustment and what is simply just being a three year old (and again, this boy is stubborn!) But I love both of my wonderful boys they are truly a blessing and it times like tonight I need to remember the loving Father that allowed me to be a mother.

Blessings,

Laurie

(left to right) Eas, Dad, Mom, Kirina, Mikaela, Eric, Sam. The other couple was from Sweden and adopted a 2 year old son. We are at the Forbidden City in Beijing.

Just one section of the Wall the we went up. The best Stair Master EVER!

needs no caption

Sam doing his amazing hand stands and mommy being scared he is going to break something!

David being adorable

His very first popsicle, which he would only lick in 90 degree weather so it ended up on him more than in him.

Quick Post

2011-06-04T22:33:00.000+02:00

Sorry I haven't posted but the only computer I have is in the room that David sleeps in and the only time I have to post is when he is alseep. However, everytime I type he squirms around like he is waking up.

So here is my quick post. Andreas has been away for 4 days now and will be back tomorrow night. I have had wonderful friends who have let me hang out with them and fed me. This helps so much for Sam to have friends to play with.

Mainly, I am TIRED!!!!! Single moms are amazing!

Thank you for your prayers during this time, it is greatly appreciated.

I would appreciate prayer for me with Sam. He is such a neat and wonderful kid, but in my tiredness and his regression with his new brother I know I am a bit hard on him. Please pray that I will be understanding and loving even when it is frustrating. I feel like such a bad mom, but I know this comes from a place of complete tiredness. Thank you.

Blessings,
Laurie

The Land of the Living

2011-05-31T23:58:00.001+02:00

Hello All,

I am barely awake, but I'm here. Today I finally feel like I am getting back to normal. However, it still looks like a bomb exploded in my house... oh yeah, I have two boys... it is going to look like that for now on! I can not remember a time in my life that I was this exhausted. The only other time that comes close was when we flew to Nepal and after 38 hours of being up went to sign papers and picked up Sam. Yeah, I was pretty exhausted then too.

David is doing better than I could have asked for. Thank you so much for all of your prayers, they have truly held us up through this journey. David has a great personality. He is fun and outgoing and everyday brings new looks and goofiness. Tonight he started to imitate Samuel and give him hugs. Sam ate it up. It is so good to hear their laughter and squeals as they play together. Of course there are some jealousies going on, but they will work out.

David had a rough day today. It was test day. The nurses couldn't find a vein so they stuck him 4 times while I held him down. Not easy on anyone, especially little one. They had to stick a cotton swab in every orphace of his body and that is not so nice. I suspected that he had strep and we had that confirmed today. He also has a skin infection that might be related. So antibiotics it is. (I knew it was strep because one of the children I nannied for got it all the time and I recognized the smell... blah). We still have more tests that will be run and vaccinations to get... but we will wait for a few days at least. David cuddled with me a lot today, which I loved, but knew it was because he needed the comfort after all the tests.

Tomorrow Andreas leaves for 5 days. Not ideal, but it has to be done. The annual conference for the Methodist Church starts tomorrow in Stockholm. Andreas' dad will help me out for a few days and then a few all on my own. Please pray for all to go smoothly and me not to colapse. I am a little worried the Andreas will lose some ground with David, but Andreas will be home until September and be able to make it up. Also, pray for Andreas, there are some really hard things going on with the church and it maybe a trying conference, but essencially the Methodist Church will cease to exist here in Sweden in about a year and join into an ''interesting'' denomination that is well...''interesting''.

It is time for me to head to bed, but I posted a few pictures from our first day with David. I promise to write to those who have written me and yes, I will skype with my family as soon as we can get one of our computers to work the sound and the camera at the same time (my husband says we are getting a mac next time!)

One more thing. I think I mentioned a child in Russia that needed prayer so he could come home and PRAISE JESUS he was given the clear to come home!!!!!!!! God is good and loves his precious children. I read the Kirill could go home and cried like a baby. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the grace of God.

Blessings,

Laurie (please excuse any errors, I am too tired to edit, thank you!)

This was about 30 minutes after we met him, we had to load up and go get pictures taken. I had only touched him about 10 minutes before this. But he started talking in the van. So sweet and amazing.

Andreas with his boys!

I finally have a brother!

Okay, I highly recommend this for anyone adopting and older child. I saw it on Youtube and so I bought a crazy electric car in China and David loved it. He was playing with us and running to us instantly. It really helped break the ice. He was a little scared of it, but that made him come to be picked up an it became a game. (grant you the sound it highly annoying,but hey it served its purpose. ) However, I may have to hide the thing now!

A quick update

2011-05-30T22:27:00.000+02:00

Hello all,
This is Andreas writing a quick update since Laurie is still supertired. That word by the way sums it up pretty well.

Everything has gone really well. The trip and everything with the adoption has been very smooth. Everybody is feeling the adjustment and the jetlag but everybody is also doing just fine getting situated in a new home and in new roles.
Laurie will be back and write some more detailed and insightful posts once she's recovered enough (mainly by sleeping) and is up to it. For now, know that we are happy and safe and that we are very thankful for your prayers.

/Andreas

Drumroll...

2011-05-25T20:37:00.002+02:00

Hi, all of you.

This is Johan once again and I am loaded with pictures from China. Since a picture says more than a thousand words I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...

Precious Jesus moments

2011-05-23T22:50:00.002+02:00

Dear Friends:
Thank you so much for all of your encouragment. I have not been able to view all the comments, but I look forward to reading them when I get home. We are in Beijing again and have been since Saturday. We are very thankful to be back here and in the last leg of our journey. I will share more about our time in Urumqi when I get home.

The kids are good, but David is one stubborn boy (mom, this one may give me a run for the stubborn title!). I watch David as he explores his world and us. He is a ball of contradictions. At times he wants the hugs and kisses and fun that we all have, but the next second he is mad at us because we havn't done something right. I find myself praying constantly and then going with it. Today he was throwing a fit (over who knows what) and so I just decide to hold him and kiss him. He didn't like it much, but he came around. I am trying my best to be intuative and find those times to invade his space. Tonight he was laying between Andreas and I to go to sleep and he kept flipping and turning. First he wanted kisses, but then would push me away. Then he wanted my hand on his belly, but then wouldn't. He finally fell asleep totally intwined in my arms. Those are the moments that keep us going.

Let me tell you about some Jesus moments (direct divine intervention) that we have had. First was on the plane as we were trying to land in Beijing. Of course David did not want to sit in his seat, so I had to hold him (which he didn't want either). So for the 30 minute decent into Beijing he screamed. The first few minutes I started praying. Honestly, I was praying that the Lord would stop the screaming. Jesus had other plans. Instead he changed me. My impatience physically left me and I was filled with compassion and caring for this child. I didn't care who on the plane the screaming was annoying. So I sang. I sang quietly to my screaming child and amazingly enough he listened (Just trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding...). I knew instantly that the Holy Spirit had touched me and I was changed in that instance. I will always be greatful for that.

The second Jesus moment was tonight. Tonight we realized we have had David for a week now. He is starting to interact with Samuel and I was watching it in the hotel restaurant. But let me take you back a little to last Monday. For those of us who are blessed to experience adoption we know that it may not be love at first sight. I knew I loved him in my head, but my heart needed to get to know him some. I was prepared (as much as you can be) to love him without him expressing it back, but it is not always easy. As the days progressed, I knew that I was falling for this child, but still thought it may take a while. The fits don't exactly endure a child to you. But tonight was different. After David watched Sam for a minute he turned to me and talked to me (of course I had no idea what he said). I answered and looked at him in the eyes. Exactly at the moment I knew. I knew I would give my life for this child. I knew he was mine and I was his mommy. I knew I had been blessed beyond what I deserve. Again, I watched my two boys and fell in love, the tears fell and I knew Jesus had given me an "earnest". A little gift that showed me all would be okay and He was strengthening my love. David will still battle it, but it is there.....never to leave, only to grow stronger.

So my days are ups and downs, but we are strengthened by Jesus and so very glad we do not walk this path alone. Thank you for all of your prayers they are very much appreciated.

We have left David's passport at the Swedish embassy and will pick it up Wednesday or Thursday. We fly out Thursday afternoon. There is another Swedish couple here with us. They have a 6 year old daughter that Sam loves to play with. They have adopted a two year old boy...who they named David. So we are confusing our children greatly!!! But it is really nice to have them around. Just another "earnest" from God.

On a side note...today we went to let Sam buy something with his money. After finding something for himself he turned to Andreas and said, "Pappa I want to buy this for my girlfriend." He then told Andreas about a girl in his class. Andreas asked what it meant to have a girl friend. Sam's reply was, " she is a girl and she is my friend". Sam then walked over to me and told me that he was buying something for his girlfriend. (he said this infront of the 5 or 6 store salespeople who immediately started laughing.) They may have been laughing at the look I had on my face when he said it. I did my best to hold in my surprise and laughter and said that was very sweet. Wow, way to spring that one on a mom who wasn't ready for it. Life is definitely not predictable. My Sam is such a sweet boy. I am so thankful for him.

Tomorrrow is a slow day and an acrobatic show in the evening. Wednesday I think we will go to the Summer Palace with the other couple. Pray for us as we travel home. 10 hours on a plane will not be easy. Luckily it is only 10 hours of my life.

We miss you all. Praise be to God we are almost home!!!!

Love,
Laurie

Update from China

2011-05-21T18:50:00.000+02:00

Hi all,

This is Johan again with some updated information from China,

Andreas's parents are back from China after 10 days and have shared their experience. David have a new passport and they are back in Beijing.

David and Samuel are getting along very well and both Andreas and Laurie are anxious to get back home with their family.

/Johan

Short but significant

2011-05-16T18:44:00.000+02:00

Hi all.

This is Andreas's brother and I have been asked to inform you that David now officially is a member of the Kjernalds. Everything is "wonderful" and has exceeded their expectations.

I Haven't recieved any pictures but I'm sure it won't be long :)

/Johan

2011-05-15T23:42:00.002+02:00

To all,

We are safe in Urumqi today. Tomorrow is the big day!!!! We know we get to meet him in the morning, so pray that we sleep some tonight. I am sorry that we can't get pictures up, but I will once we get home. We are blogging through Andreas' brother at the moment.

I really wanted to put a post up today because today Tore Karenbauer is graduating from High school and I wanted to say congratulations. Tore I am so proud of the amazing and beautiful woman that you have become. I could wish I could be there, but I know that you understand why I am not. I was one of Tore's nannies. I started when she was 6 and now she is 18.... makes me feel a bit old (and her mom would tell me I am) but that is okay.

To all the Karenbauer's, I am thinking of you and missing you. Take lots of pictures for me.

Back to China....let's just say we are not in Kansas anymore! We are soaking in as much as we can, but as you can imagine tomorrow is the day we have been waiting for. We are as ready as you can be and Sam is beside himself with excitment. I will post as soon as I can, but no promises. I will also try to get a picture up, but that is not a promise either. You cannot get blogger from China. Anyone have any ingenious ideas that they used while in China for blogging?

I would appreciate everyone's prayers as we move forward with this wonderful new stage in our lives. Tomorrow we will be a family of 4!!! Praise Jesus!

Blessings,
Laurie

2011-05-13T23:56:00.009+02:00

Hello All,

We have made it to China safely and are doing well. Sorry, we didn't post yesterday, but tiredness was the name of the game. We are in Beijing and today we had the priviledge of climbing the Great Wall of China. Samuel was none too thrilled with it, but after some tears and coaxing we were able to get him to the top of the mountain. He seems really proud of himself now (but all he really wants to do is swim in the hotel pool).

What an amazing feeling to walk the Wall. To see something you have heard and studied about for years. It really is amazing and I can't believe the muscle and ingenuity that it took to build it. I think we may have climbed about a million stairs today and will feel every muscle in our legs tomorrow, but it is good.

There is one other Swedish couple here with us. They are going to another province to pick up their two year old son...whom they will also name David. Funny! I think about our David constantly. I am trying to soak up as much culture as I can and always love seeing a new part of the world. We will be with David and two days and the emotions are coming faster and easier than before. Let's pray that I am not a blubbering idiot when we meet. Then he really will think I am terrifying. We know the Lord has brought us here for this reason and we are more than blessed already.

Tomorrow we will see the Forbidden City and Tianamen Square. Then Sunday we will fly to Urumqi to meet David on Monday. Andreas' parents are having a great time and soaking it all in also. We are thankful to have them here with us.

We cannot seem to get to our blog ourselves so Andreas' brother Johan is helping us post this. We will try one picture of the fam, but don't know if that will work or not. Thanks Johan for the help.

We will write more in a day or two. Please continue to pray for our journey with us.

Blessings
Laurie

And Here We Go.....

2011-05-10T23:22:00.000+02:00

Tomorrow is the official day. We are just about packed *not too bad for us* and we will hit the sack soon. We don't actually fly out until 6:40 at night, but the day is already full.
Sam will go to school like normal and Andreas and I will run around like crazy. We're crazy that way!
Please pray with us through this journey.

May 11th fly to China
May 12th arrive and rest
May 13th the wall
May 14th the Forbidden City and the Square
May 15th fly to Urumqi
May 16th meet the son that this is all about
May 17th official medical, paperwork and ceremony
May 18th touring
May 19th Andreas' parents to fly back to Beijing
May 20th parents fly home, we see Heavenly Lake
May 21th fly back to Beijing *I think*
May 22st- 26th in Beijing touring and getting all the Swedish paperwork in place
May 26th fly home

I am a bundle of emotions, but mostly just thankful that God has brought this to fruition. We will be posting as much as we can. So stay tuned for some exciting times.

Blessings,
laurie

Countdown and Mother's Day

2011-05-08T21:08:00.001+02:00

Okay, first to say....3 days to take off. Yep, you read that right. We have 3 more days until we embark on the final leg of the "official" adoption. Which brings me to Mother's day. All who have adopted and who are adopting alway look forward to the end of the paper chase and the waiting until that child is finally in your arms.

That is what I refer to as the "official" adoption. Yet there is so much more to the story once your child is home. That is what fills my heart at this moment as Olof Robert Samuel's and Olof Xiao David's mom. There are times that I am reminded that Sam is adopted by someone asking me where he was born. But most of the time he is just Sam. Whether he is annoying the snot out of me or being so sweet I could melt, he is my Sam. Bonding happened so many years ago and now I love to see how he is working out his world. Still our bond is being stretched and strengthened everyday. When he is trying so hard to break away and be more independent and mom just wants to hold her son the bond is stretched. When he gets hurt and I hold him for just a minute the bond is strengthened. This "dance" will happen the rest of our lives. It will take different forms at different ages, but it is permanent.

Now I look towards a new bond to form. I find myself grieving for the fear and grief that David will go through as he is handed into this family. I am grieving for him in advance. I know that at 3 years of age he will realize so much and be able to express so little. So as our bond forms it will immediately be going through some major stretching. As I go forward into this new bond I am anxious and pray that I am up to the challange. But then I am reminded of one other bond.

That is the bond that is between Christ and I . It was formed when I was a teenager and oooohhhh have I stretched, and pulled and poked and proded that bond. Yet, it is a lifetime bond or rather a life giving bond. I no longer try seeking independence, I need this bond. It is the one that will bring me to my knees for David as he struggles against me. It will be the one that gives me the patience and sight that I need to mother David and Samuel through their rough times. It is the one that I continually feel in my spirit and the one that I will hold on to the tightest. Only by my bond with Christ can my motherhood be possible.

So only through the Father can I be a mother. Kind of ironic. But I am oh so thankful for it.

So on this American mother's day I will say Happy Mother's Day to my mother. Skype is not working so well so here is my message to you mom. Thank you. I love you.

And for all of those other women that have poored knowledge, love, grace, and mercy into my life along side my mother...I thank you also. The Lord has brought and continues to bring amazing "mothers" into my life to guide me.

I would also like to remember the birth mothers of my children. We named Sam's birth mom Prya, which means beloved in Nepalese. I need to find a Chinese name that means beloved and name David's birth mother. I use these names to pray for these ladies. I am very thankful for them and think of them on so many special days. Thank you for these precious boys.

On May 16th I will be a mother... again. I would appreciate your prayers as this new journey begins.

Blessings,
laurie

Countdown.....

2011-05-02T23:04:00.000+02:00

Just wanted to post to say that we are 9 days and counting. Our dog is doing well, things are coming together and I am ready to get on that plane. We will actually be with David on the 16th. YEAH!!!! After almost 3 1/2 years of waiting it is actually happening... "surreal, but nice". Praise Jesus!!!

Also wanted to share a new adoption resource. The Sparrow Fund

This fund is put together by the wonderful people at www.WeAreGraftedIn.com It is to help people off-set the cost of referral review stage in the adoption process. Check it out and spread the news. Everything helps when you are adopting and having a good referral review (especially in special needs cases) can make the difference for so many children.

Blessings,

Laurie

The Answer to a Six Year Old's Prayer

2011-04-28T22:36:00.000+02:00

I have to share a story with you. This is one of those times that I truly believe God answered just because he loves us. It is what Prof. Lauter would call an "earnest" from God.

Let me start with.... through this whole adoption the Lord has laid people in our paths that have supported us spiritually, physically, financial, etc. He has showed us time and time again that he simply loves to love his people. In our lives we have been taken care of time and time again and I want to again, give God the praise for this family that He sustains.

My story starts over Easter weekend. We were out at the house in the woods. Kelty (our dog) was being his normal active, fun self and running around in what we call his "happy run". On one of the turns something snapped in his back left leg and he let out a hjelp. He stopped putting pressure on it and sat down. This was on the Easter holiday weekend (no one's open). So we nursed him, kept him quiet and waited. (Well, Andreas did, I was throwing up).

This past Tuesday I called my friend Slavik (who is a vet here in town, he is a friend from my Swedish courses). Sam and I took Kelty in and Slavik took a look at him. Kelty is not a small dog, but he turns into the biggest chicken at the vet. Turns out he snapped the ACL in his knee. The vet that owns the clinic came in and asked me if I had insurance on my dog...

DISCLAIMER: I had no idea until that point that you could insure your pet. I have heard of it for people who bread or show their pets, but not for the common house pet.

Needless to say my answer was no and he said...This is going to be expensive. Okay, I like to have all the facts on the table so I asked how much. Turns out it is around $2500. YIKES. He was very nice and said we could do a payment plan and everything.

All I kept thinking is that we are going to China in two weeks, how in the world are we going to not only get the money, but find someone to care for Kelty in that way while we are gone? He told us to go home and think about it and let him know. The surgery could take place on Thursday. I came home and Andreas and I tried to find anyway possible to do the surgery. When it came down to it, we simply could not come up with the money. The next day we received our final adoption bill. That sealed the fact that we could not afford the surgery. The only other option was to put Kelty to sleep. He was obviously in pain and stressed.

Andreas and I did not come to this option litely. To be honest I have laughed at some of the extents that some people have gone to to save their pets. But it didn't sit well with me that we had to put Kelty down because he still has so much life in him, but we couldn't let him suffer either, it just wouldn't be fair to him.

So yesterday we told Sam. I had to leave the dinner table because I didn't want Sam to see how sad I was. While I was in the bedroom I heard him say to Andreas that they simply needed to pray and God would give them the answer. So he took Andreas from the dinner table and they sat down next to Kelty. Sam prayed his little heart to a Mighty and Powerful God that heard every single word.

Today, Andreas and I went out to the house in the woods and dug a grave for Kelty. We had our neighbors say goodbye, we were preparing ourselves to say goodbye. Kelty spent his day stuck to me like glue. The plan was for the vet to come to our house tomorrow and put him to sleep.

After digging the grave we came back to town. I let Andreas off at our house and went to get Sam, who was at a friends house. Before I got to Sam, I received a call from Slavik. Slavik put the other vet on and he told me to bring the dog in as soon as possible and they would do the surgery. I told him that we could not pay for it and he said he would do it for free. FOR FREE! Then he said they would take care of Kelty for us when we were in China if we couldn't find anyone else!!!!

I ran and got Sam and got home to Andreas and Kelty. We were so excited to share with Sam that God had answered his prayer!! That God had heard him and was giving Kelty this chance to live. Sam was overjoyed! How exciting it was to share with Sam in a tangible way that the God of the universe heard him and answered!!!!!!!!

How exciting that we could see how the God of the universe loves us so much as to show us in so many tangible ways. I truly believe that he wants to do that for everyone if we would just listen and follow him.

So, thank you God for this earnest of love. Thank you for a kind hearted vet. Thank you for being so real to my beloved son. Thank you for giving David a chance to have a puppy dog to play with. Thank you for being in every decision and every part of our lives. And thank you for allow us to have Kelty for a few more wonderful years.

So never doubt that the God of the universe is waiting to give you an earnest. Look for them, they maybe in the smells of Spring, in a day off, in a friend or whisper of love. He loves us.....it is just that simple.

Laurie

I've Got Two Letters for You...

2011-04-28T21:48:00.000+02:00

Yes, I have two wonderful letters for you. On their own they seem plain and of no specific importance, but together these two letters mean......

Travel Approval!!!!

Yesterday we officially received our travel approval from China. We will be keeping out tickets for May 11th and David will be with us for the first time on May 16th. We will be returning to Sweden on May 26th. It is finally happening in less than two weeks we will be on our way to get our son. Praise Jesus!

Laurie

A Different Kind of Easter

2011-04-25T22:20:00.000+02:00

I always look forward to Easter. We have our devotion book that we do for lent. It prepares us each day to walk through so many of the emotions, heart issues and true events that took place. After doing those devotions together for 37 days we came to Good Friday. We have traditions that we always go through to help us remember and try to understand a little bit more every year. Well, after Good Friday service and a drive home to our house in the woods, I was done.

Let me take you back to last Wednesday night, well actually Thursday morning at about 3:00 am. I hear Sam calling....''Daddy....Daddy (I think he knows I wake up cranky)...so I shake my wonderful man and tell him Sam is calling for you. He calls back, but Sam still calls for him. So he gets up and makes is way into his room. I hear from the other room..."Daddy, I threw up!" Okay....so I'm up! Andreas and I go into full action to get his bed clean, him clean and make sure that he is okay (all the while holding down the gag reflex). He was so sweet the whole time. This is actually the first time he has really thrown up in his life (besides the one down my nighty when he was 3, but that was more crying and upset, not sick). We got him back into bed and I slept in the bunk under him, but not before it happened again...had the bucket ready that time! So Thursday was my day to try to keep this wonderfully energetic child quite...yeah right. I did my best, but by Friday, he was ready to go. So we let him and he has been fine since.

Now.... back to Good Friday. Yep... mamma got it too. I was up all night. My poor husband tried to say around a while, but the truth is he really didn't want to get sick...can't blame him for that one. So I stayed on the sofa for two nights (not a problem, that sofa is sooooo comfy). Andreas got out of the sickness this time. I am glad for him. But all of this made Easter a bit different for me...

Instead of celebrating as a body of Christ, I was home alone. I was left to think and rejoice and praise...just Jesus and me. I really enjoyed it. Not that I would have chosen it, but I am so thankful that He meets us where we are... spiritually and physically. I reflected on the reality of what was and the reality of what is because of what was. I came back to something I already knew, but obviously needed a refresher on.... Easter is not just a day in time, but a life lived because of that day in time. My life would look completely different without the hope and salvation that Easter brought through Jesus and I need to remember that daily and live because I know the reality of it. Only when it is real in me can I show my sons why it makes a difference to believe and live life for God.

Only in Christ can any of us find TRUE life and TRUE hope....thanks for the reminder Jesus.

Happy Easter all,
Laurie

Happy Birthday Little Boy

2011-04-14T23:48:00.000+02:00

David,

You are three years old today. Happy Birthday my little boy. I wonder what you are doing today on your special day. Is there someone celebrating you? Are your foster parents giving you the presents we sent? Are they telling you how special you are? I want to believe that they are.

Today, in Sweden, we celebrated you. We bought cupcakes (a popcicle for your brother). We sang to you and have a video to prove it. We have a gift for you and most of all a family for you. I want you to know that not only did we celebrate you today, but your farmor and farfar did too. Not only will you be a son, but a grandson, great grandson, cousin, nephew and brother. These are all gifts that I wish to tell you about and watch you experience.

I saw vitsippor and blåsippor for the first time today in bloom. Your birthday will not only mark the special day that we celebrate you, but the beginning of Spring here in Sweden. I loved having my birthday at the beginning of Spring in the States and now you will get to have the same thing here in Sweden. With the Spring brings hope and renewal, all that is to come for you.

I wonder if sometime around today your birth parents are wondering about you. Around this time in 2009 they had to leave you to be found and taken care of. I am sure they are sad, but have hope that you are well and have a family. I cry for the sadness that they must feel and pray that they are comforted by the one true comforter, Jesus. I also celebrate your parents because they had the special privilege of bringing you into this world and holding you on your special day. They loved you for the first year of your life and made the the hardest decision ever to give you a chance to be healed and to live. I will always be incredibly thankful for them and the sacrifice that they made.

So as you sleep in China, your family misses you in Sweden. Happy Birthday today. We will see you in a month and celebrate the rest of your birthdays together. Sleep well and know you are loved.

Love,
Mommy

Another Milestone

2011-04-13T21:08:00.003+02:00

VISAS we have VISAS!!!! I have three passports in hand with 1 visa in them each, praise Jesus. These visas state in English and Madarin the we are allowed one entry into China no later than July 8th 2011. Yeah, they gave us permission to enter the country...I am thankful for that one. Just one more thing to cross of the list.

I have to laugh at my passport. I have two visas from different entries into Nepal, one Swedish resident visa and now I have one Chinese visa. Oh, the stories a passport can tell about your life!

Blessings,
Laurie

Crazy Tired and Busy

2011-04-12T11:30:00.000+02:00

I know I haven't written and I am sorry for that. I can't believe how long it has been since I have had my camera out and taken pictures. I still carry it everywhere, but no pictures. Am I too busy to think about it? Am I too tired to care at the moment to capture the pics? I just don't know the answer to those questions right now.

First of all, I am incredibly tired. I have had hot flashes all through the night for about 2 to 3 weeks now. I know, officially those are called night sweats, I don't care what they are called, they are waking me up at night. This is producing one cranky Laurie! Please pray these go away, I need sleep!!!!! I pray they are gone before we go to China, that would not be fun. For now I have my fan right by my bed and it gets turned on several times a night. I also have my handheld fan (Darcy, you would be so proud).

Second of all, I am crazy busy. I am still doing my Swedish class, Bible study, house chores, chaufer, cook and normal everyday things, while trying to get all the stuff ready to travel. I feel like my brain is on overload (the tiredness adds to that I am sure).

Thirdly, we will be traveling to China on May 11th and returning May 26th (we think). Everything is preliminary. We are still looking to receive that wonderful TA (travel approval). We will be picking up our Visas tomorrow from the Chinese Embassy in Gothenburg. It is hard to believe that after waiting to adopt for over 3 years, we will be traveling in a month! Needless to say we are excited beyond words. I can't wait to be the mommy of two boys and hold my David (even though he will probably be terrified of me and think I am a crazy woman). Sam gets more and more excited everyday. Now, David might think that Sam is a crazy boy....and he would be right. However, I think that David will really like him. Sam alreadly loves his brother.

So this is life right now. I will try to snap a few pics and get them up. Spring has arrived here in Sweden. It is always a welcome relief to see the flowers emerge out of the previously frozen earth. The sun has started to warm this tundra and we are all very thankful for the change. As we press on towards Easter, Spring is a good reminder that Christ renewed hope with his reserection. How thankful I am for that salvation which he offers. Take some time and reflect on the road that Jesus traveled so many years ago to the cross. We see it from this side of time when we know the triumph of the outcome, but try to look at it from the other side for a moment. Remember that for 3 days it was dark and the disciples thought the world was lost forever. I pray that it gives you the joy and thankfulness that it has given me.

Blessings,
Laurie

Okay.....The Name

2011-03-30T22:15:00.000+02:00

For all of you who have been waiting (thanks mom and dad), we will announce our little guys name. It is fun to figure out names for our children. Some we have had for a long time and some come with prayer and time. For a refresher, Samuel's full name is Olof Robert Samuel Kjernald. He goes by Samuel.

The first name is Olof (or course), all the men in Andreas' family have that in their name. It will join our son with the new heritage that he is receiving in this family.

The second in line is Xiao. This will honor the name that he has been known by thus far. This is a part of him and his story and we wanted to honor that.

The third name (which is the one he will go by) is David. David is a man after God's own heart in the Bible. He was anointed at a young age by....Samuel to be King of Israel. Samuel counseled him and pointed him to God and David continued on.

So there you have it. Olof Xiao David Kjernald

We have found out that our tentative dates for traveling are from May 11 to May 25th. We are soooooo very excited and will be calling around for airline tickets now. If you have any advice on good adoption rates let me know.

I would like to ask for special prayer for friends that are in Ethiopia right now. Nina and Wes Mullins (you can click into there blog from the blogs I follow) have been in Ethiopia for about 2 1/2 months. They have their twins with them, but there have been some problems in their court case and new papers being needed constantly. At this point Wes will need to come home without the others. Please pray that the paperwork will get done quickly and that Nina and the twins can go home and be with Wes again soon. This is hard emotionally, financially and physically because they have twins. Please pray for them and give if you feel the Lord leading you to do so. Thank you.

Blessings,
laurie

Learning Again....and again.....and again....and again...

2011-03-24T20:37:00.002+01:00

I know many of you are waiting for the name of our new son and I promise it will come soon, but we have had so many things to get done this week and it has been a bit crazy. One thing that I wanted to write about is more of the happiness or joy that I talked about earlier. In all of this running around trying to get LOA papers signed we have hit a snag with Swedish beauracracy. Our social worker, whom we have worked with for over 3 years now, is on sick leave. So instead of calling her and asking her if it is okay to sign that she knows she must do post placement reports and that we can accept this referral (which is already outlined in our homestudy and previous papers) we are having to go through a bit of incompetence. Of course they are allowed to take two weeks and it seems as if they wish to take that full two weeks. This is frustrating and ridiculous. So now I have to take an account of myself.

How do I react and act towards these people who now feel they have the need to re-ask all the questions that have already been asked?

How do I react when they feel the need to recheck all that has already been checked?

I can tell you how I want to react, but I am sure you can probably guess how that is. I hear that reminder to be the child of God that I should. To show patience...because even though I feel like Swedish beauracracy is in charge - that is not really true. I want to throw a temper tantrum, but I am 37 years old and frankly I do know better (aren't you proud of me mom!).

I must remember that after 3 1/2 years of waiting that...
God still has this,
God still loves us and this child,
God sees all that is going on
and I simply need to pray and trust.
How many times must I learn this?

So for now we meet with another social worker tomorrow morning, to reanswer questions that we have already answered, and I must show.....
love,
joy,
peace,
patience,
gentleness,
goodness,
faith,
meekness,
and temperance.

Thanks for the reminder Jesus, please help me accomplish this! Here is where joy is and happiness is not.

Laurie

Drum Roll Please.....

2011-03-19T15:46:00.000+01:00

Okay, I promised a picture of our son and here it is! (sorry I was a day late Amy) We think he is absolutely adorable (big surprise), and we cannot wait to get him. I will give more details as I can, but for now just enjoy his little face and please pray for him as he is about to experience something HUGE!

Blessings,
Laurie

How 3 Letters Can Change Your Life

2011-03-17T21:24:00.005+01:00

For those of you who do not know what these letters stand for it is Letter of Acceptance. This means that we are officially adopting our son from China. It is funny how 3 letters can change your life. At around 2:30 today I received a call from my husband. He told me he had 3 letters for me and I flipped. Sam started screaming and jumping up and down and the knowledge of me being able to hold my son in about 6 to 8 weeks was amazing. The thankfulness that I felt enveloped me. I am so thankful to Jesus that he kept pushing us to find our child. I am thankful that our Lord was holding and caring for him when we could not. I am thankful that in my lowest Jesus was still helping me on and bringing me to my child. Like I have heard to so many times (even from my own mouth), adoption is not for the faint of heart. For I was weary and the Lord helped me on.

There is a quote that I read in my lenton devo the other day. This devo is written by Walter Wangerin Jr. and is called Reliving the Passion (I highly recommend it). He says, " The difference between shallow happiness and a deep sustaining joy is sorrow. Happiness lives where sorrow does not. When sorrow arrives, happiness dies. It can't stand pain. Joy, on the other hand, rises from sorrow and therefore can withstand all grief. (now listen closely) Joy, by the grace of God, is the transfiguration of suffering into endurance, and of endurance into character, and of character into hope- and the hope that has become our joy does not (as happiness must for those who depend on it) disappoint us."

I pray that through this 3 and 1/2 year journey, and all the sorrow that has come, that I have learned joy. I have always struggled to find joy because I have felt like the suffering was unfair or I didn't understand it. Now in my 37th year (sorry to say it has taken this long), through study and talks with my wonderful Bible study group I have a deeper appreciation for suffering and the inheritance of glory that we will receive after suffering (read 1Peter). I will hang on to the joy that the Lord has fostered in me and go forth with more than just my precious children but a deeper desire to know God better. For after all I have been adopted into God's family and I am still learning to live in that family as a full child of God.

Stay tuned for pictures and the name of our precious boy.

Blessings,
Laurie

Voluntourism (Ever Heard of It?)

2011-03-15T15:34:00.000+01:00

I read this article about "voluntourism" and I think it raises some valid questions. I have been aware of "voluntourism" within the past few years so this article really interested me. I will also link an article about giving to children's homes in Nepal (who to give money to and who to not give money too). I think that it is pretty universal when it comes to looking for good or bad signs in children's homes. I have experienced both the good and the bad children's homes in Nepal and I believe the article is right on.

Article 1
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/nov/14/orphans-cambodia-aids-holidays-madonna

Article 2
On Children's Homes

be sure to read the comments below the article too, very good stuff and would love to get my hands on the book "Little Princes".

Laurie

It's True

2011-03-14T21:55:00.000+01:00

Yes, the rumors are true it is my birthday today. I am 37 today, which Sam says is old, but it doesn't feel so old to me. Thank you for all those who called me, emailed me, Fb me, sang to me, generally harrassed me and were overall very nice to me today. I am truly blessed to have so many friends from all over the world. Taking account of this is humbling and also a bit overwhelming. I miss so many of you and you are all literally around the world and far away. I am also humbled and so excited to see how many of you are following Christ and how many have also adopted or been a direct help to adoption or both. I can only thank Jesus for all of you (my amazing family included) and look forward to worshipping God with you all in heaven one day (which will truly be the next time I am able to be with all of my friends again at one time).

The one gift that I was really hoping for didn't come today. That would be our LOA for our precious boy, but I know it is coming, so I will hold on to that for my birthday gift.

Please pray for Japan today. Pray that the Christians can shine the light of Jesus through the fear and devastation. Pray that the nuclear reactors cool, pray for those who are left to pick up the pieces of their lives without their loved ones, and pray the aftershocks and tsunamis stop. He is a loving God who wants to help us through the pain of this world. Will you join me in prayer?

Laurie

New Adoption Resources in Nutrition

2011-03-13T20:55:00.002+01:00

Hello all,

I have two new adoption resources on the nutrition of children that are adopted and how to help your newly adopted child and the foundation that started the foundation and websites. The Spoon Foundation is on a mission to try and provide nutritional suppliments to orphans around the world. The two ladies that began this adopted children that seemed to be severly handicapped, but turned out that they were severly malnurished. We experience the same thing with Samuel. He was malnurished, tiny and had constant ear infections when we picked him up. He had not been eating solid foods at 15 months old besides an occasional bite of egg white or banana. When he was with us he started eating everything he could get his hands on. The first two years he was home he ate 4 (yes, 4) hard boiled eggs every morning. He grew like a weed, was healthy as on ox and still loves eggs to this day. So check out these links and pass them on. The second site is Adoption Nutrition this gives advice for those who are about to adopt and those who have. (they are linked to the Spoon Foundation).

Blessings,
Laurie

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video

2011-03-09T19:58:00.001+01:00

This is a great video that is making its rounds on the adoption blog circuit. God is doing a mighty thing for the orphans and families in this world. We are so blessed to be a little part of it. God is showing us all how we are adopted into his family so that we may be called sons and daughters of God. Are you adopted? If not, we would love to talk to you about being adopted into God's family. Have you adopted? If you feel like adoption has been put on your heart, but you haven't made the steps to move forward, we would love to talk to you about adopting. Please contact us through this blog.

Blessings,
laurie

Haggis Balls

2011-03-09T11:27:00.000+01:00

Backlog....Brussels, Belgium!!

2011-03-07T23:51:00.000+01:00

I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Belgium with a friend to see another friend that moved there. Again, we love Ryan Air! It was so great to spend time with Sarah and Dana (both amazing ladies that I have had the priviledge of being in Bible study with. We ate some great food, laughed like teenagers when Dana's translator told us that I was about to order a turd or dung (yes, it really said that), and explored for a day. It was a quick visit, but I am so glad that we went. Oh, I can't forget that we ate an obscene amount of chocolate (what else are you suppose to do in Belgium?) Thank you Dana for having us, I hope to visit her again with the family (all 4 of us, Dana has been a wonderful prayer warrior and supporter of our adoption).

Enjoy the pics. (unfortunately the pics mixed up, and it is too late for me to deal with it, so the day is a bit mixed up, but still fun)
Laurie

Sarah and Dana in front of the Waterloo
Memorial, which had closed as we walked
up to it, figures.

The beginning of our day in Brussels

This was at the end of the day, the inside
of St. Michaels Church. There was a service
that began while we were there. I have videos
I will try to put on tomorrow of the bells and the
organ playing.

In front of St. Michaels

This was one of the amazing buildings in the main square of Brussels. This square is where they do the flower carpet every other year (I hope to see that one in 2012). The bakers use to sell bread at this building, but it is now a museum. I loved the architecture.

This door made me laugh, as if it came out of some Monty Python film. The big gate for giants, regular door for normal size people and the small door for little people. This door belonged to the amazing building that was the home of all the gilds in Brussels.

It is really hard to see the amazing architecture, but this square was truly amazing.

These were just two of the chocolate stores we hit (Godiva to the left and Nuehaus to the right). Dana's last name is Nue, so I guess she is always ment to have this chocolate.

Us eating....again, yummy.

This is the Church of Our Lady, beautiful.

The Church of Our Lady

Justice building, covered in scaffolding (or course)

The Atomium in the background

The Sacre Coer in the background

Anything But Routine.....

2011-03-01T22:41:00.000+01:00

Hello All,

Well, in a way these days have been very routine, and in so many ways not. Of course we are going through the emotions or maybe repressing the emotions of anticipation for the ever desired LOA from China. We are looking and relooking at our future as the Methodist church merges with two other denominations here in Sweden (that is a huge can of worms in itself) and in the meantime trying to keep up with Samuel as he learns way to many bad things to say from the older kids in his school (although I am pretty sure that some of the kids his age have potty mouths too).

I have been very delibrately spending time with Jesus each day. This has helped my outlook tremendously, but I need to remember there are no quick fixes, but disciplining myself and seeking Abba everyday. Andreas has hit a period of his emotions catching up with him and dental work (which is never a good thing), but we are holding together, not by our own strength, but by the grace of God truly. The winds of change are blowing, it is so easy to see it, but so hard to know quite yet where they are blowing too. So we seek.... I am not against or afraid of this change, but sense the need for it. For those of you wondering, NO we are not thinking of moving back to the States (did you hear that my wonderful mother-in-law?) The movement for change is just beginning and we have nothing concrete in our thoughts but prayer is needed. First and formost we must get David home and steady with us, then......?

Just an update on the prayer for John. He is home PRAISE JESUS! He is recovering but has a little ways to go as he deals with the drama that happened. But we are incredibly thankful for his life. Thank you for your prayers.

And for Ia, jag hoppas att dina barn barn ska komma hem snart! Jag are jätte spännande för dig och för dina barn. (thought you would appreciate the Swedish) :).

Blessings,
Laurie

What Brings Us To His Feet?

2011-02-24T20:20:00.000+01:00

Today is just another day, with all the rituals and non-glamerous things a mom does. But inside my mind and heart things are moving. So what is seen on the outside is no where near the volcanoe that is churning on the inside. There are many cues that have brought me to the place where I am. Sadly, one of those cues is the fact that my devotional life has been slipping for sometime now. '' All of the sudden'', I realize that I have been trying to forge so many things on my own again. ''All of the sudden'', that tidal wave that leaning on Jesus always helps me ride is now overtaking me.

Another cue that has made this impact on me is the referral of our newest son. Adding to my family makes me take a metal checklist of what is good and not so good, especially about me as mommy. Our son will come with needs, wants, desires, fears that Andreas and I will have to work through with him and sometimes for him. He will come with an instant language barrier into a biligual family. He will come with the desperate need (whether he knows it or not) to know Abba. So how can I show him, love him properly, and overcome for him, if I haven't spent true time with Abba and have wandered off like a head-strong teenager yet again. The truth is I can't.

My third cue is the tug-of-war I see in my 6 year olds life. The tug-of-war between the world and Jesus. What mom and dad are teaching me and what I hear and see at school. Sometimes I just want to scream with anger as I see the innocence of my child disappear into the reality of what is. To be very honest I feel like, at this point, I am losing that battle. As I scramble to figure out how to help Samuel overcome this with Christ, I realize my folly yet again. When was the last time I fell at His feet and let my heart burn with Christ's desire and not my own.

So as my mental checklist goes on I realize, yet again, I can do nothing without Him. I have more special needs than my son! So I find myself bursting at the seams to yet again, ''seek ye first....''. Everyday brings forth new and wonderful news about our son's homecoming and my heart says, ''seek ye first...''. Every afternoon when I pick up Sam from school and he tells me all the not-so-good things he has said in the day (he is wonderfully honest), my heart says, ''seek ye first...''. Every evening when I just simply want to shut down from all the things that pile up in the day, my heart says, ''seek ye first...''. So I guess what I am really reminding myself here is that it is not really MY heart saying anything, but Abba say, ''come child.''

Laurie

"Guarded Optimism"

2011-02-18T20:32:00.000+01:00

The quote above was posted by John's mom earlier today. This gives hope, but please continue to pray for John. He has quite the road ahead of him and still needs lots of time and care to continue on the road to healing. There is a prayer vigil going on now until tomorrow at 12 pm., sponsored by Daybreak Community Church (their church) for John. It is an open invitation and anyone can join. You can find it on facebook under Prayer vigil for John Karenbauer. Just go in and sign in on times to pray. Thank you for caring for this precious family.

For those of you who have been asking we haven't heard anything on our adoption because Chinese New Years has been going. However, this is the last day of vacation for them and so "game on".

Please don't forget to pray,
Laurie

Update on Prayer Request

2011-02-14T22:57:00.000+01:00

Hello all,

I have an update on John. I have talked with his mom and she said that he is better and on a regular ventilator, but that he is not in the "safe zone" just yet. Please continue to pray for him, his family and the wisdom of the doctors. He is still under a lot of medication and his lungs need to heal some before they will take him off the ventilator. Praise Jesus for the hope that we have today after the extremely difficult touch and go last night. I would also appreciate prayer for his two sisters. They have the same pneumonia, but not the underlying asthma problems.

Praising Jesus for the hope and praying for more healing,
Laurie

Urgent Prayer

2011-02-14T11:24:00.000+01:00

Dear Friends and Family,

As many of you know I use to be a nanny for a family in the States. I love this family very much and have maitained contact with them as the kids have grown. Yesterday the youngest boy, John, who is 8 yrs. old, went into the Intensive Care Unit for severe pneumonia. He is fighting for his life and is on a ventilator at the moment. I ask you all to pray for him and his family right now. I believe that God can heal him either miraculously or by the help of the doctors. Please pray that he not only lives, but there is no damage to him with all that is going on.

Thank you,
Laurie

Traveling

2011-02-09T22:32:00.000+01:00

Hello all,

I know that a lot of you have asked for details about our child, but we can't share much just yet. With the beginning of Chinese New Years on Feb. 3rd all is silent and will be until the end which is Feb.18th. What I can tell you is our little boy is almost 3 years of age and is living in the Northwestern part of China. We are so excited to finally come to the conclusion of this adoption. After 3 1/2 years and 3 different countries we have finally found our child. As you can tell by the video, Samuel is estatic. He talks about him often and even pretent plays with him. Samuel keeps asking to go to the toy store and buy a present for him. I will share more when I can.

Meanwhile, Andreas and I had the privilage to travel to Scotland. Mom and Dad Kjernald were very generous this Christmas with the stipulation that we did something fun with the money (thank you so much mom and dad). So they took Sam for the weekend and we flew Ryan Air (about $30 for a roundtrip ticket) to Edinburgh. What a cool city. I really liked it, even though it was misty and grey. We flew in on Friday night (my first business of the evening was Starbucks!!!), we spend Saturday in Edinburgh and had a wonderful time meeting up with my childhood friend Paige Medlock (one of the highlights of the trip). Then Sunday we took a trip out into the Highlands (Run by the hairy coo - story with the pictures). Sunday night we went to St. Giles cathedral and joined in a communion service and Monday morning we flew home. I really did like Scotland, but I have to say the biggest hightlight of the trip was simply spending time with my husband. He truely is my best friend and I enjoy our get aways together. Sorry ladies, but I think I married the best man ever!!! All of my girlfriend may contest, but this is my belief.

I will tell a little more about Scotland in pictures below. We would appreciate your continued prayers for the adoption. We are hoping to travel in May or June to pick him up.

Blessings,

laurie

The pictures are actually backwards, but I'll work with it. This is a lake in the highlands that freezes and they use to have curling contest on. As in all things our tour guide says that the "sport" of curling comes from Scotland. It may be true, anyone want to look it up.

In one of our stops there was this bench in the hills. It is one of those Notting Hill benches and I thought it was sweet.

Part of the gorgeous Highlands of Scotland. I would love to go back and see it in the summer.

Self portrait of course.

Below is a Hairy coo (cow). Our tour guide runs a company called The Hairy Coo. They provide free tours into the highlands and then at the end you can pay what you feel it is worth or what you can afford. We had our reservations, especially when we strolled up to an orange minibus that said "Honk if your Horny" on the back. However, it was a really good tour and the tour guide really knew his history (did anyone know that Tony Blair was Scotish?). We had a lot of stops so it wasn't all driving and saw some great places. The Hairy coo was brought to Scotland by Vikings and apparently the Vikings took the Scotish women and left the coos. Hope it was a good trade! This particular coo is Hamish and he is famous in Scotland.

In the town of Callendar. This is the border of the Highlands from the lowlands (makes sense). What a beautiful sight to see everyday.

Andreas and I had fish and chips (really good ones) in Callendar.

This my friends is Doune Castle. What castle you ask? Well, (and this is particularly to my friend Dave Rhodes), this is the castle that Monty Python used in 1974 to produce the low budget Holy Grail movie. So this is my best "you stupid British K'nigits" face. No battles were fought at this castle, but the Stewarts of Scotland owned it.

That is my good looking man. (not the red one)

This is the main William Wallace monumet. Apparently there are about 20 monuments, but this one is in Sterling where William Wallace and his gang fought for the castle (picture to come). Our tour guide set us straight about what really happened with William Wallace and not how the movie told us it was.

The famous Sterling Castle. This castle switched hands many times during the wars. The famous or infamous, Mary Queen of Scots was here a bit and left her son here and never got to see him again (due to Catholic vs. Protestant issues). Sterling is also where my friend Paige is doing her Ph.D. Apparently, it is worth seeing, but we didn't have time. I guess we have to go again.

This is carved in the front of the Wallace monument. I really liked it. What amazing stone work. The thistle on the top is considered the national flower (I think). It was everywhere.

This is the Edinburgh Castle. It is amazing to look at. It is hard to believe the so long ago they took all the stone and put it on this mountain. There was a huge line, so we didn't get to go all the way inside, but we saw some of it. It stands at the top of the Royal Mile.

These are haggis balls. Hopefully, I can get the video up of us trying them. Yes, they look really gross, but the Scotish really seem to love them.

Below is Paigee (as I call her). Sorry men, this beautiful woman is off the market. She is not only beautiful, but incredibly talented in art, among other things. She is the one that taught me stain glass and pretty much all the other artistic things I can do. Thanks Paigee. It was really good to see her and get to see how the Lord is working in her life. Thanks for coming and meeting us. We are standing in the Edinburgh castle.

My wonderful husband and I in front of the Edinburgh castle.

Two doors down from our hotel was a cafe called Chocolate Soup. Of course we had to go and get hot choclate there. The cup says " it's a Chocolate thing". Need I say more.

The Edinburgh Parliment is a cool work of art in itself. On the side it had many quotes and I liked this one.

This mount is called "Author's seat". You can walk up there. It is one of those places that King Author and the knights of the round table were said to have a place. It is so cool to be in the city and then all of the sudden see these amazing outcroppings.

This is the Queen's palace at the bottom of the Royal Mile. Of course the Scots call her the Queen of Scotland and not the Queen of England.

On another outcropping of the city stood this. Very cool. We never did figure out what it was for though.

This sign made me laugh. Would you really shop for fruit and veggies from someone who is OFF License. Sounds a bit risky to me. But then again, the Scots eat haggis.....

A cool pic of the stone buildings on the Royal Mile.

This is the Edinburgh Castle at night. The city is quite amazing and we didn't have very much time to explore, but I am really glad that we had a chance to go. Thanks again Mom and Dad.

What Happens to "Them"?

2011-01-31T21:50:00.001+01:00

Dear Friends,

I have seen some buzz about this article and most recently in a friends blog (who has adopted 4 from Ethiopia, 2 being older boys). I think it is very important for us to think about what this article deals with and act as Christians. If God is putting an older child on your heart please pursue this. There is a desperate need. You can see my friends blog by going to the ones I follow on the right hand side of this page (The Kinnells). Love Without Boundaries is a great organization and well worth supporting also.

On My Own

When many people think of an orphanage, I think they often envision babies and toddlers. I used to be one of those people myself. On my many trips to China, however, I began meeting and falling in love with the older children who have grown up in institutions, many who never had any true chance of finding a permanent home. Their faces and stories are in my heart forever now, and sadly many of my memories of these great kids involve tears. Tears from Jenny, who broke down on her 14th birthday when she realized that she had aged out of the adoption system without being chosen. The final realization that she would never know what it meant to have a mom or dad of her own caused her to fall into a deep depression. Tears from Lily, a 17-year-old girl whom I had given my jacket after she admired it. When she refused to accept it initially, I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “But of course you have to take it because you are like family to me.” And it was at that one word, “family,” that this normally stoic young lady broke down and sobbed uncontrollably, as it is the one thing that she longed for.

By far, however, the most emotional moment of my time in China came one night when I was able to meet with a group of older orphaned teens I had watched grow up over a five year period. Every time I would visit their orphanage, I would enjoy getting to know them more. They all seemed so close, such good friends, and they always had smiles for me when I arrived. That night, however, was a night when the kids finally let their guard down. It was a night of real conversation and sharing what it means to grow up as an orphan. Toward the end of the evening we were all in tears. Afterwards, one of the older boys stayed to talk with me privately. I am hesitant to even write of it now as it was such a deeply personal and emotionally raw conversation. I will share, however, that he told me that growing up without a mother or father “hurts more than death.” Children aren’t supposed to raise themselves. They are not supposed to grow up alone, which I know sounds impossible when you are growing up in a crowded orphanage. The reality, though, is that hundreds of thousands of orphaned children feel utterly and completely ALONE. I held this incredible and wonderful teen in my arms as he sobbed about how much he wanted a mom, and I can’t think of it now without great pain.

Why was I given the opportunity to be born into a family who could take care of me, while millions of children are born into situations so sad and filled with hurt that many people don’t even want to hear their stories? I have struggled with that question for years with no answers. But I do know that all of us who have been blessed to know what a family really is should make every effort possible to help those who are orphaned. If not us, then who?

The theme song for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games was a song called “You and Me.” It has been sung to me by children in orphanages many times, and it always makes me cry. The words haunt me… especially for the older children who have grown up feeling so alone: “Put your hand in mine. You and me, from one world. We are family.”

How I wish those words were true in every person’s heart. How I wish everyone believed that we need to treat people as family and share our ever shrinking world. What a wonderful place this would be if every adult took the hand of a child in need and didn’t let go. To all of the older orphaned children who have aged out of the possibility of ever finding a family, I send my heartfelt prayers. You are not forgotten. And we will continue doing our very best to help in every way possible.

Amy Eldridge is the Executive Director of Love Without Boundaries.

Love Without Boundaries proudly advocates for adoption but is not an adoption agency. We invite you to contact adoptionassistance@lwbmail.com with questions about a child we have featured and encourage you to contact your local adoption agency for more information about China’s Waiting Child Program.

And here is more from Amy Eldridge:

Amy Eldridge of LWB shares her insights
December 01,2010 / Amy Eldridge

Editor's Note: Although Amy addressed the concept of adopting an older child from China, the reality for these children is true across all countries. As the adoptive mom of two older children, I can share that the rewards are well worth it! -Martha Osborne

I've been asked a lot recently how I feel about the growing number of adoption pleas we see for kids who are almost turning 14 and aging out of the international adoption process. Some people have written me that they feel it is wrong to make a child start over at age 13 or 14, having to learn a new language and not really understanding what it means to live in a family. Many have expressed concern that the kids will be leaving the friends they have had their whole lives, while of course others spread the news far and wide that a child is about ready to age out, wanting to help them find a permanent home.

After working with teens in China for the last 7 years, I advocate for older child adoption for many reasons. While it is impossible to make sweeping generalizations since every orphanage is different, here are some of my reasons for
believing every child, regardless of age, deserves a chance at a family to love them:

1) Many people do not realize the deep and ingrained stigma that an orphaned child often faces in Chinese
society (and many other cultures). Orphans are often felt to be unlucky or even "cursed," and so they often have many
strikes against them when it comes time to go to school or find a job.

There are many different levels of schools in China; many orphaned children are only able to attend the lowest level schools, as parents who are paying higher fees for the better schools don't want their children to have to attend
with "unlucky orphans". Education is so important in Chinese society, and parents often push their children to try harder and work longer on their homework. Orphaned children rarely have anyone pushing them or encouraging them, and so we frequently work with young teens who only have rudimentary educations and who have trouble believing their lives will ever be better. The few dozen children in orphanages whom we have been honored to sponsor for college are the exception. To actually make it to university as an orphaned child is a true achievement. And even after graduating, jobs are often very difficult to come by due to businesses again not wanting to employ people who might bring bad luck to the company. Many of you might remember the young lady we helped earn an accounting degree in college a few years ago. She was unable to find a job in her hometown because of her orphan status. She was finally hired by the local government when no private company would agree to hire her.

2) Some people might ask how anyone would know you were an orphan after you left the institution. Couldn't you just keep it quiet? There are several factors that make it hard to ever lose your "orphan" status. The first is your hukou, the formal registration status that every individual in China has. Your hukou is family-based in your home city, and orphaned children often have a "group" hukou that clearly identifies them as not having a family. In addition, in the past it was very common for orphanages to use "created" surnames for the children in their care. For example, many orphanages used the last name of "Fu," which directly implies an orphan, or else they used the first syllable of the town or district, such as Shan or Mei. These "created" surnames often immediately identify a child as not having a real family. Because of this, and knowing the trouble that orphaned children often have assimilating into Chinese society, the government has recently been giving children more common last names, such as Li or Chang.

3) Almost everything in Chinese society revolves around the family, and great reverence is giving to one's ancestors and lineage. During major holidays, if at all possible, you return to your family. For orphaned children who age out of the social welfare system, they often find life very difficult with no family ties, and they frequently live on the margins
of society.

4) Many people worry that the older children being adopted don't really want to leave their home country. At least in the orphanages where we work, the children are always asked, and in many cases, they have to pass a provincial interview before they can be registered for adoption. Many provinces require the child to sign papers that they want to be adopted. As a mom of teens myself, I really admire the kids who find the courage to overcome their fears in order to have a chance at a family, a real education, and a fresh start, but it does raise the question of whether a 12 or 13 year old should be left on their own to make such a life-impacting decision.

I wouldn't allow my 13 year old to decide their entire future on their own, and so adoptive parents need to understand
the great fear and cold feet that can come on adoption day. We need to remember that there are often cases where
the older kids in orphanages who have already aged out of adoption will tell the younger children scary stories about
foreign parents, since they were unable to have the same opportunity. Aunties will often tell a child that they can never do anything wrong or they will be returned. There is indeed deep pressure put on children who agree to adoption at an older age to be good, and it is understandable why there is so much anxiety, fear, and tears on adoption day since very few aunties or children really have a clear understanding of what life will be like for a child outside of China.

One mom told me how incredibly hard it was to see her new daughter crying on the phone to her orphanage a few days post-adoption. She said it was easy to think, "Am I really doing the right thing taking her away from all she has known?" Many older kids have told me how scared they were to even consider adoption, but the desire for a family is something that many of them carry deeply in their hearts.

5) Another question that is frequently asked is why are we hearing about so many kids about ready to age out
now when there were so few over the last ten years? After speaking with dozens of orphanage directors, it is clear
that the majority of them truly believed that Westerners only wanted babies to adopt, and I think for many years that was a fair assumption, since many families put as young as possible on their home studies. Many of us know people who even requested that they wanted a 3-5 year old child and yet were referred a baby. Even in 2007 and 2008, when LWB was conducting provincial trainings on special needs adoptions, the audience, filled with aunties and directors, would shake their heads as if they couldn't believe us when we said people were willing to adopt children who were 11, 12, and 13. Many orphanages would start out by agreeing to submit paperwork on one or two older orphaned children, and then as they saw those children be adopted, they would agree to send more files. The CCAA also started new initiatives, matching agencies with orphanages to see if families could be found for the older children. It has been a slow and steady process for orphanages to realize that older children most definitely can find families through the adoption process. It has been wonderful for us at LWB to see the older children in the orphanages where we have worked for five years or longer finally get a chance at a permanent home.

How do you feel about older child adoption? Have you ever considered it or have you personally adopted a child older
than 10? LWB has several volunteers who have adopted teens who are more than willing to discuss both pre- and post-adoption issues with families. You can always contact us at info@lwbmail.com for more information!

Amy Eldridge is the Executive Director of Love Without Boundaries and the mom to seven wonderful kids (2 from
China). LWB has launched a new blog this month, located at: http://www.lwbcommunity.org/

A Must Watch!!!!

2011-01-27T09:20:00.000+01:00

For those who are curious I have a link to a video that we made. It is a little dark, but good news doesn't understand time, so we took the video when we could. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F5R5dxw-a0

LID!!!!!!

2011-01-16T16:29:00.000+01:00

For all of you out there who have adopted from China you know what those precious 3 little letters stand for. Your LID officially stands for you "Log In Date" at China's Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA). We officially received our LID last Wednesday, Praise Jesus. We just found out today in an email and we are so thankful that it actually happened before the Chinese New Year holidays beginning on Feb. 3. This is a huge burden lifted from us, especially my husband, because it means that all the paperwork was okay and we can proceed (it was my husband that did all the paperwork this time around because it was in Swedish). So now we begin the next phase of waiting for the actual referral. Our agency checks the list everyday and new kids are put on once a month... so we wait. It works a little differently here than in the US. Here we wait for our agency to find a child that matches what we said we can handle (we don't actually see the listings). In the States you can actually see some lists yourself and/or can be given a referral off the list before you see it. The last family from our agency waited about 6 weeks before receiving and referral and with the New Year holidays from Feb. 3rd to (I believe) Feb. 18th there will be no new referrals during this time. We will have about 72 hours to accept or decline a referral. Once we accept a referral we will usually be traveling about 6 weeks after that. Again, these time lines could always change and most likely will. So, for now we are not holding our breath, but trusting that God has our child in his hands. Not as easy as that sounds, but the only way to handle this wait.

Last night Andreas and I found the dvd from the moment we picked up Sam. We watched the hour video which included driving down Nepali streets and the first moments that I was able to see and hold him, to the first moments in our hotel room with a terrified Sam, to the next morning when he was happy and fine. Then I realized we began his adoption on January 15, 2005 and we were watching his video on January 15, 2011. What an amazing 6 years it has been. Not always easy, but the video was a good reminder of how blessed we have been with Samuel. It makes me look forward to our next child. I praise Jesus for these amazing children that we will have the privilege of calling ours.

Blessings,
Laurie

Quick Thought for Today

2011-01-15T15:26:00.000+01:00

Today we are sitting in our house in the woods. It is a winter wonderland outside and when we came yesterday we found that we had a plumbing problem. We will be able to fix it soon, but that left us with no water. So....snow it is. Yes, we have been hauling in a ton of snow for our water needs. Nothing like a little adventure. It is actually quite easy to put together a system because we had no water all of last winter also. Last winter we used Andreas' uncle's house for water (about 200 feet away), but we were afraid that their pipes were frozen, so it is snow for us. Tastes a little different, but as long as it's not yellow (no thanks to our dog) it's good.

I really got on here to say that today is the first day the Nina and Wes Mullins meet their twins in Ethiopia. I have been thinking and praying for them all day. Please pray with me that all is well and they have the time with the kids that they need. Also pray for their court date, can't remember off my head what that is. You can go do to the blogs that I read and find them to keep up with their journeys.

Blessings,
Laurie

The First Entry of the Year

2011-01-13T00:13:00.000+01:00

Hello folks, and Happy New Year,
I know it has been two weeks since New Years and I am finally getting things together to blog again. One of the reasons I don't blog so much is we are trying to set up a system that I can download all of my pictures, but for some reason we can't seem to get it together and so I have about 2000 pictures on my camera and I cannot download them at the moment. So I have downloaded a few to share.

Before going to far I wanted to say a huge CONGRATS to the Taufer's. Vicki and Nima have been stuck in Nepal waiting for a VISA and today (after almost 6 months) Vicki received word that she is getting her VISA!!!! Vicki, I am doing a happy dance with Nima for you.

Also, Nina and Wes Mullins will be boarding a plane in just a few hours to Ethiopia. Once there, they will meet their twins, go to court, and hopefully bring them home quickly. Congratulations you guys, can't wait to see pics. You are included in the happy dance also (sorry folks, no video of the dance).

I have to admit that I have been struggling lately. This 3 1/2 year, 3 different country adoption journey is weighing me down at the moment. I know that God is in control and I know that this is all in the timing that it should be according to Him. I know that our paperwork is in China right now and that it really won't be that long (hopefully) in the big scheme of things, but I am tired and my heart is aching for my child (I need to find rest in the God that promises he will give it to us). Someday, my child may read this and this is what I would say the him/her if he/she were here:

I have loved you since you were a thought and a dream.
I don't know you by sight, smell, sound, touch, age or even gender, but I know you in my heart.
It seems as we have searched the world and yet you seem so close.
I cry for you and somehow I know that you cry for me too.
We talk about you as if you are here with us, and you are, in the dreams of our heart.
Most of all I want to hold you and comfort you. To watch you grow and thrive. To watch you play with your big brother and to teach you about the God that brought us together.
One day, hopefully before my heart bursts, we will be together and this mother's love will no longer be held back or hampered by distance and knowledge.
I love you my child,
mom

Thanks for reading the ramblings of one crazy mom right now. I know that so many of you have felt the same thing and are struggling right now also. May we all take heart in the bigger picture of what God is doing and allow all of this to shape us into the image of who He is. Maybe the ache of the heart for these children is already a part of this image. Oh, but I have such a long way to go.

Enjoy the pictures below. Blessings on all of you tonight.

These pics are from the 1st and 2nd of January, when we were still at the ocean house. I love this goof ball. He is such a blessing.... even when I am annoyed with him. I thank God for his wonderous child.

Already looking all G.Q. (and he knows how to pose for the camera).

New Years was quite relaxing. Even the dog got into the groove of things.

This is us saying goodbye to the ocean just before we left. Andreas got a hold of the camera.

This is what we came home to. Yes, a very dead tree. Even some of the ornaments had fallen off because the tree was so dead and wouldn't hold them. We actually put the tree out one of the windows behind it. Although there wasn't any needles left on the branches. I love Sam's face in this picture.

Andreas is in Stockholm at a church conference and this is what I woke up to this morning. We have had a lot of snow, but when it sticks to the trees it is just gorgeous and makes everything beautiful. I loved the light this morning so I snapped a few pics. I can so get the phrase..."and you shall be washed as white as snow". This all brings new meaning to that for me.

Laurie

End of the Year

2010-12-31T23:39:00.000+01:00

Well I can't believe it is the end of 2010. There were so many things that I thought would happen that didn't and so many things that I didn't think would happen that did. Isn't that just the way life goes. We are still here celebrating the victories and taking the punches all the same. I know that through it all Christ has been guiding us. I find myself frustrated at the lessons that I have to learn over and over, but the Lord keeps reminding me and then sending me encouragements (earnests) along the way. I haven't posted much since I have come home from the States and I have a huge backlog of all my pictures. While I am still frustrated at the storage, or lack there of, for my pictures I will try to get some on here for the last of the year and start fresh next year (which is a little weird to think is tomorrow).

So I will do this story in pictures. Be patient this will be a long post. I pray that all of you are well and finding peace in Christ, the author and sustainer of all our hopes. 2010 has come and gone with many rejoicing moments and many heart aches. We started with the hope of getting a little girl from Nepal. Those hopes were crushed in April. Then we tried Taiwan and those hopes were crushed in September. Then the Lord lead us to China special needs. This has been a long journey but feel completely at ease with this decision. My husband marvels at the way the Lord has worked on his heart and mind to get us to this point. These workings have not been unwilling, but many times painful at what we saw of ourselves and our selfishness. In May I witnessed my husband being ordained as a pastor in the Methodist church. Those were amazing moments that were a completion and a beginning of years of work and preparation. In June we had the amazing opportunity to go to Tuscany, Italy with Andreas' family. In August, Samuel ''officially'' started his normal schooling and in September turned 6 and in December we remembered that it was 5 years ago we flew to Nepal to meet him and bring him home. In November my grandfather, Dr. Robert A. Traina, stepped into eternity and is worshipping the Lord he has loved and served in his 89 years of life. Samuel experienced an American Thanksgiving in the US, with a ton of family and loved it. Finally, in December we officially sent in our dossier to China and are waiting for the next step. In between all these events was life. I am getting better at Swedish, Samuel is getting more mature and Andreas is guiding us all to the feet of Christ while supporting us with ministry and jobs. We are thankful to come through this year and are looking forward to the ebbs and flows of the next. Happy New Year all, may you see each blessing that the Lord is giving you and hold on to him through the low moments.

Love,
Laurie

This is the last of 2010 to show you. I went home to Wilmore with Sam on Nov. 1st to say goodbye to my grandfather and spend time with family and friends.

Spent some time with my family. Below from Left to right... Aunt Judy, Josh, Matthew, Jennifer and Uncle Marty. Josh, you're such a goof!

My G.Q. cousin, sorry ladies he's taken!

My Aunt Judy, Uncle Bob and my mom. These were Po Po and Grandma's kids. We are not all able to get together so often, so it was really good to have so many people home.

I had the chance to spend some time with friends and also meet some blogging friends while home. Nina Mullins is a blogging friend that I met for the first time, but already know so much about her and her family. Please pray for her and Wes. In two weeks they will be traveling to Ethiopia to meet their twins and hopefully bring them home soon. Pray for their safety and that the court hearing would go smoothly and traveling home with their little boy and little girl will be great. Thanks Nina for taking the time to see me. Cydil Waggoner was the other friend that I had a chance to spend a little time with. Her and Nathan just brought home their second child from Albania. It was a blessing to be with them again.

I stayed at the Lauter's hotel (I mean home). Sue and Prof. have been mentors for Andreas and I for many years and it was a blessing to spend so much time with them. Sam loves Grandma Sue very much and believes he needs her hugs to grow. They were able to spend some time together and decorate gingerbread men.

Nonna and Sam were able to spend some time also. Nonna took Sam to his favorite restaurant, Cracker Barrel.

Some more time with the Waggoners. That is Ellie with us.

My brother came home with his new wife. I finally was able to meet my sister Denise. She is wonderful and we had a great time. It was good for Sam to see them and put faces to the names he always hears.

My cuz Matthew brought home his girlfriend Zoey for Thanksgiving. Brave Boy! Zoey handled all of the cousins with ease. She was a lot of fun. Hey Matt....we all liked her! (Especially Brighton and Sam).

Thanksgiving with family.

The cousins went out to enjoy a 3D movie Tangled. I love this picture. I believe Zoey's comment for this was *Awkward*! Notice the look on her face.

We all look so cool in those glasses! Lorenzo, Denise and Sam.

We were able to spend time with the kids that I nannied for so many years ago. The picture is of Mark who turned 13 while I was home.

This is the girl cousin that is closest in age to me Dawn. Dawn is married to the wonderful man below, Mitch, and they have Brighton. It was wonderful to spend time with all of my cousins.

Yet another pic with Dawn's eyes shut. Okay, from left to right....Dawn, Brighton, Mitch, Uncle Marty, Sam, Me, Aunt Judy, cousin Jennifer and her husband Josh. I love getting together with Dawn and Jennifer. I am the encourager. Dawn is the instigator and Jennifer is the serious one. Add in our husbands and it becomes pretty funny. I love my family and am blessed to have them.

Came home to Sweden on December 1st. Mom and Dad were very happy to see us and each other in the pic.

I also came home to snow, snow, snow. So of course we had to go enjoy it.

Went to the traditional Liseberg Christmas.

Had a great ornament exchange with my crazy American friends. Thanks guys.

(trumpet sound) We officially sent off our dossier to the agency on the 23rd of December! It is on it's way to China as I type this...... Yeahhhhhhhhh!!!! (Below is the boys getting ready to head to the post office)

Spent Christmas Eve with Andreas' family. I believe this is pretty much everyone!

While I was in the US, good friends had a baby boy and Andreas' brother and sister-in-law had a baby boy also. In true Swedish fashion we are not sure of the name yet. (Swedes have 3 months to name a child before the government gives you a name....believe it or not there is an officially name board that you must submit the name to for approval.)

Christmas morning we had our traditional 7a.m. candle light service.

Advent candles

Then for new years we come to the ocean house to rest and relax. It is beautiful and snowy here. This is just one of the cool snow formations that I snapped.

The Swans also posed for me.

Thanks for the show.

I love how dramatic it all is.

Of course we had to have some sledding in there.

Our friends the Mukhopadyays came for a few days with their newborn Noah.

And then tonight, the last night of 2010, God displayed his art work in the sky for us. Just one of those ''earnests'' that God gives to let us know he is still here and still cares about us. Enjoy!

Happy New Year!!!

Quick Word

2010-12-11T23:57:00.000+01:00

Hello all. I just wanted to post a quick word to let you know that I am still alive. Sam and I are back in Sweden and I am trying to get over jet lag. It is so much harder coming back this way. I also came home just in time for a large book test and a national test in Swedish so I am a bit busy with studies and will get some pictures up from my time in the States once I get over the tests.

We are very excited to be back home with Andreas, but miss my family greatly. We had a wonderful time with family, but I wish we could have all come together without the sad reason of losing my grandfather. Sam and I had the blessing of being able to be with Po Po the last week of his life. Sometimes I still can't believe that he is not here with us anymore (I have tears running down my face just thinking of it). However, it makes me smile to know that he is in heaven worshipping Jesus with grandma. What an amazing, God- centered life he lived on this earth and now continues it in heaven. I have been very blessed to call him Po Po (grandfather) and to have him in my life for 36 years. The picture below is me and Po Po when I was about 3. He was my hero in so many ways!

Blessings,
Laurie

Laurie and Po Po (Dr. Robert Traina)

A Time to Mourn

2010-11-10T06:28:00.001+01:00

On November 9th at 8:17 in the evening, my Po Po (grandfather), Robert A. Traina, stepped into eternity. Sam and I had come back to the States a week ago to be with him and the family. We are thankful for the week we had and the chance to say goodbye. Here are my numb thoughts as he is now worshipping the God he has loved his whole life.

So passes Robert Angelo Traina, child of God, son, brother, husband, daddy, Po Po and Great Po Po. He was a studier, an author, a teacher, a dean, a friend, a lover of scripture, a role model, a patriarch. He was humble, quick to laugh, deep voiced and loving. We, his family, had the great privilege of walking with him in this life. Thank you Jesus, for the precious 89 years he was here. Now he is truly home.

love,
Laurie

Laurie and Sam in the States

2010-11-04T19:00:00.000+01:00

This is a rare post from Andreas, husband of Laurie who normally blogs here. Her grandfather has become very sick and it became apparent pretty soon that Laurie needed to go home and spend some time with him before the end came.

He is 89 years old and has a fantastic eternity waiting for him but selfishly we want him to remain with us and continue to be the family anchor that he has been for so long. Laurie and Sam are with the family for a month and it is a gift from God to be able to allow them that.

Pray for them and pray for the whole family in this difficult time. I'm sure Laurie will get back to posting blogs soon.

/Andreas

A Time to Post

2010-10-27T21:29:00.000+02:00

Well, I realized that I was just checking other posts and not posting myself. I have been doing quite a bit since my last post. My grandfather is still in the hospital, but getting better. He is weak, but we are hoping that he makes it home soon. The whole family is converging on Wilmore for Thanksgiving. I am even flying home with Sam for 3 weeks. Andreas has to stay here, and will be missed greatly. I pray that it is a time for the family to gather around my grandfather and let him know what an amazing influence for Christ he has been in our lives. He will have at least 2 of his 5 great grandchildren there also, so it will be a good time for them to form a few memories of him. I am hoping that we can get everyone there. Please pray that it can all work out for the family.

We have a huge Thanksgiving fest planned for the church here in Sweden. This will be the 3rd annual fest. Last year we had a little over 60 people from 16 different countries. It was really cool and I am hoping that we can beat that this year. So for anyone in Sweden come to Alingsas Metodist Kyrka on November 19th at 6:00 p.m. Bring a food from your land to share and if you have kids, we have activities and babysitters for them. Please call me and let me know you are coming at 0763 402801. That way I can get an approx. head count.

Andreas and I have been working on updating our homestudy and paperwork for our adoption from China SN. I have been researching all the different diagnosis that I have seen, lined up an amazing doctor for the rush of "tell us what you can from this paperwork" and Andreas and I are trying to pray and figure out what we can handle as parents. It is not easy, but I believe that a we have to try our best to be prepared for what we can know. Of course there are usually surprises, but I am not going to worry about them. I think we should have all the paperwork done by the end of November and ready to accept a referral when the time is right. Please continue to pray with us that we would hear what God has to say and be willing to sacrifice when needed.

My heart has still been stirring and moving to work on plans for a children's home and school in Nepal. I am scared half to death also, but I believe this is what God wants me to work on. I have started to gather a prayer group and my courage has been bolstered. So Andreas and I will continue to move forward (albeit slow) with this plan.

Samuel has all of next week off for Fall break, so we will try to do some fun things and have a great time together. I talked to him tonight about going to the States and he is sooooo excited. His first question was, "Can we spend the night with my Karenbauers?" This is the family that I nannied for so many years ago and Samuel loves their children. I told him that it could probably be arranged. I hope that I can see many of my friends and family when I am home and that Sam can get reaquainted with many of them as well.

I will leave you with some pics below. Most of them are my boys, well....being boys. Blessings to all. Please continue to keep the 80 familys in Nepal in your prayers. It is an extremely hard situation and pretty unfair in my opinion. These families needs prayers and advocates. If you would, please contact your representative or congressman and let them know that the State Dept. needs to help these families and not hurt them.

Blessings,

laurie

I just liked this picture, it is outside of our stuga in the woods.

This picture is one in a million. When I was looking for a picture of the two of us for the dossier, I couldn't find one. We are never in pics together, one of us is always behind the camera. So the other night we set this shot up and it turned out pretty decent. I think I have a great looking husband and am very thankful for him.

Liseberg With Friends

2010-10-19T00:04:00.001+02:00

Crazy boys at Liseberg! I hate these round and round rides, they make me sick, but daddy can do them.

Isabelle and Zoe

We were finally able to go to Liseberg with Maciej and Isabelle and their beautiful daughter Zoe. It was great fun.

I love the looks that she gives. She has quite the personality behind that pacifier.

I absolutely love Isabelle's face on this picture. This is a picture of the picture that the camera on the ride took. I am a roller coaster lover, and I look like I'm having great fun. Isabelle looks like she is enduring it. Thanks for being a sport and going with me Isabelle. We are in the very first car above and below we are in the very last car. The ride below is called the Canon.

September pics

2010-10-18T23:06:00.000+02:00

In the middle of September, Andreas and I got the chance to hike and pick mushrooms for a day. It is something that we both love to do (well, I am more the mushroom picker), but it was great to be out and enjoy nature before it got too cold and winter sets in. We hiked relatively close to our summer house and met two moose that day (one of them was really close, but luckily Kelty listened and didn't chase after him, man those things are big). Enjoy the pics.

I wish this one was a little clearer, but it is cool anyway.

Kelty was cooling himself off in the bog.

This was a new lake for us. It was very pretty and Andreas even took a dip, not for long though, really cold.

Self portrait, not easy to do, I have short arms.